I think it's gonna be worth it...

... all this flood crap. We have to replace all our living room, dining room & family room furniture, and since most of it was gifts from Susie that were needing to be replaced soon anyway, we're kinda cleaning up on this whole deal. Last night we went to RC Willey and found a bunch of stuff we love. This dining table is pretty much ridiculous. It is soooo gorgeous. You can't really see it in this picture, but there is the most lovely ironwork footrest on the base. I am not getting those ornate chairs, but rather these retardedly comfy ones.

This is the leather sectional we are pretty sure on for upstairs. We wanted leather so that a) Charlie wouldn't want to hop up on it and b) if she does, her hair won't imbed itself in the leather like it would upholstery. It's kinda sexy & very comfy. I don't like those nailheads they use in nearly every leather couch, but this one doesn't have as many as most do, so it doesn't bug me.
We ordered a sectional like this, ours is bigger though and has a chaise & what they call a "cuddler". It's very aptly named. But this is the color we're getting. I love it, it'll be in the basement, replacing the beloved Mammoth. Trust me, we're okay with not getting the Mammoth again, this one is delightful! And that's what we've been up to. Well, that & choosing tile (amazing!) and engineered hardwood flooring for upstairs. I'm super excited to get back in that place & I am pretty sure we're going to throw a freaking fun welcome home party for our near & dear ones who have been so supportive & nice to put up with us & our complaining.

I am easily entertained

I have no problem admitting that. I loved Twilight the first time I saw it. I loved Wolverine too. There's also a lesser known little flick called "The Pest" with John Leguziamo that is easily the most annoying movie of all time, and guess who ADORES it? Yup, me. All I ask from a movie is that it take me out of reality for a minute, and my imagination is pretty good, so I can actually really enjoy a cheaply produced shoddy excuse for a movie adaptation. And I am really excited for this.

I don't care if you think I'm dumb or easily entertained, because I am.

Not the dumb part, the easily entertained part. Just so we're clear.
but I must point out that in this trailer it's funny how Jake first doesn't have a shirt on, then he does. Amazing.

so I have yet another amazing friend...

...Laura Dugovic. Not only does she make a seriously mean pancake, write a touching, hilarious & thought-provoking blog (oftentimes in the same post), but she's also hot as hell, an amazing mom & wifey, has adorable style, is debt free (RAD!) and rescues animals, and is also my personal Mrs. Congeniality, but she is also a hugely ridiculous humanitarian. She is one of those crazy people who actually think they can make a difference, and does. Trust me, you wish you knew her. Check out the newest coolest thing on her Serve Utah blog. Seriously, do it. Do it now. Open your iTunes account and open your heart & join the ranks of those crazy people who think they can make a difference. It'll take you ten seconds. Way less time than you waste reading my blog. WAY less.

A Very Merry Ex-Birthday to You!

Today is my ex-husbands birthday. I'm pretty sure he's turning thirty today. This is the only picture I have left of him. I kept it because I want to make sure that my kids know that when I say "you marry who you date; don't date him if you don't wanna marry him," that I know what I'm talking about. I don't know when exactly I'll tell them about him, but when I do, I want to have a visual aide.
It's taken a long time, but I can finally say honestly that I wish him well. Happy Birthday, Jared. Thank you for making the decision to divorce you very easy to make. I'm so grateful for the things I learned by hitting rock bottom & clawing my way back to where I belong. I'm so grateful that now I can look back at our 9-month marriage and not feel resentful or victimized. I never should have gone on a second date with you. That was my fault, and it opened the doors for the next few years of manipulation, abuse, confusion and drama. That time shaped & changed me, and I cannot regret it because it was part of the path to now. It taught me about the atonement and about the unconditional love of my Savior & Father in Heaven. I wouldn't trade that for anything. Matt always jokes that my family loves him so much because compared to Jared, anyone would look great, but that is only kind of true. I think my family loves him so much because they can see that he was worth it. But honestly, they have no idea just how worth it Matt is. I'd go through Jared-hell over & over again just for the hope that someone like Matt was on the other side. So Happy Birthday, Jared, and again, thank you. Thank you for being a part of my path to now. Because now kicks ass.

PICTURES!!! FINALLY!!! (but not before a big huge rant)

I've been trying not to just be a huge whiner on here lately. I feel like I have to try hard to not just say "homelessness sucks" over and over and over. There are so many good things about this situation, but honestly, you have no idea how much we all take our homes, our very own homes for granted. I for one get a lot of my own personal sense of accomplishment from doing things around my house, things that can't really be done at someone else's. I have been trying to continue working out, working on my garden, keeping up our normal lives & schedules, but it just feels fake.
Yesterday I had a minor breakdown. I just feel so overwhelmed with decisions and at the same time feel completely in limbo and at the SAME time feel completely overbooked. Seriously, it's been from miscarriage to wedding cake to San Diego to flooding to moving into Susie's to my parent's homecoming and my nephew's wedding with all manner of family in town to photo sesh to cabin trip to making nephew's wedding cake to cake consultations to driving to Idaho tomorrow (with a cake!) then other nephew's priesthood ordinations to driving home to picking up my BFF's dog to watch for a week then up to the cabin to relax which I will undoubtedly not be able to do because I will be thinking about all the crap going on at my house & the fact that I should NOT be up at the cabin when my house needs decisions made if we ever want to move back in. (holy run on sentence, Batman!) And the dog. Don't even get me started on that issue. She was what put me over the edge yesterday, just contemplating a life without my Charlie. Don't worry, it's not happening, but for a minute there, I couldn't see any way around it. But this all may have something to do with the fact that I haven't been taking my happy pills because I am petrified that they are what is causing me to miscarry. (despite the fact that my doctor assures me that they are not.) But the honest truth is this: I can't really do it right now without Prozac. I can admit that. The few days that I wasn't taking them (because the amount of exhausted I was lead me to believe that I might be preggers) I had some icky fights with myself, my husband & Sawyer. The fact that I haven't been making it to the gym this week doesn't help. AT ALL. I need those happy little endorphins that I get from working up a sweat. I need that hour of vacant brain time, where my mind shuts the hell up and I get to listen to my muscles scream instead. Anyway, things are a bit rough around the edges right now, but they will smooth out. Reading NieNie never hurts to put things into perspective.
So now I will reward the one or two of you who have made it this far with some belated pics of Sawyer & I's trip to San Diego, of the damn flood and of things that make me happy.
You don't know joy until you see Sawyer at the beach. No joke.
This literally was one of the best days of my life. Ever. Just me & my girl cruisin' the Pacific Coast Highway and stopping whenever we wanted for whatever we wanted. B.L.I.S.S.
The only thing that could have made it better is if Daddy would have been able to be with us. Regardless, that trip was just what I needed.
We probably walked two miles to get to this park only to find it in disrepair and closed. Sad.
On our last day, we had some time to kill & decided to spend it at the "castle temple" just snuggling in the grass & watching brides & bridal parties.
This is what that whole week felt like to me. Just contentment. Thank you, baby girl for a wonderful time. Thank you, Daddy for letting encouraging us to go (and footing the bill).
And you know what is even better? This wasn't even half of the fun we had! The first part of the week was with Jessica & Max & all their Cali buddies; who are now our buddies as well. But when I'm with Jess, I don't dare take pictures because she'll make fun of me for using my flash & being so dumb with my amazing camera, so you'll have to go here to see all that.
And now for pictures of the flood damage. Are you ready? Please remember that we just finished the basement like fourteen minutes before this happened.All our shish in the garage thanks to our amazing neighbors.The beautiful Mammoth sofa. Dead.The sad, sad state of our drywall.
Anyway, most of that is fixed now, we just need to clean out all the cabinets so they can be ripped out upstairs and get the carpet/laminate guy scheduled, then the new cabinets can go in & then we can go back in! Yay! Here are other things that made me say Yay lately.
Mom & Dad coming home!

(Is that not the best picture ever? I love these two guys beyond all words.)

My peony bush deciding to give it another go this year!!!The tree I planed last year that surprises us with a new shade of pink each season.And these two.But not these. Yucky. Never go there again. hard as rocks cupcakes es no bueno.OH! And Monday night was pretty good too. But Lola blogs about it better than I ever could, so do a little clicky-click HERE to see.

the ugly, the bad & the good

the ugly:

my house all torn up and sad and empty

the bad:

yesterday Sawyer tested positive for dog and horse allergies; her two favorite animals

the good: 

that we found this out while out house was all torn up.  We will be able to replace the dog-dander covered carpet with hardwood floors (love) that don't collect allergens as much.  Charlie is currently at Matt's brother's training to be an outside dog, which will have to be what she is once we move back in.  She can still sleep in our room with us at night though.  Unless of course Matt is also allergic to dogs which is actually very likely.  There's got to be some explanation for the amount of phlegm he wakes up with.  (thank you Celeste for that lovely visual.)

Things are going well though, the drywall, trim & painting will be done tomorrow, and then we can work on flooring & cabinets.  Good deal.

I married a hottie

Tonight Matt gets to go on his dream golf trip to Seattle. It sounds like it's going to be sooooo much fun, and he will be with his boyfriend Danny, so I'm really excited for him. He totally deserves it. He is such a hard worker and so dedicated to making our lives fun and amazing. He is ridiculously generous and sweet and patient and thoughtful and patient and inspiring and kind and patient and supportive and patient and also very, very sexy. Let me illustrate my point. Last night we were watching America Idol while he packed for his trip and he kept bringing stuff up for me to fold for him because I am an excellent folder (thank you J. Crew). Anyway, at one point he came up looking something like this:Minus the guitar unfortunately, and not as wimpy looking, fortunately. What is it about a vest plus a t-shirt that slaaays me? Then he was packing his toiletry bag and decided to spray a little bit of this:

and there ya go. Put a fork in me, I'm done. I am the luckiest girl ever. I love you baby, I hope you have an amazing time and that you come home soon, wearing your vest & t-shirt & polo cologne. And then I will attack you.

I TOTALLY CALLED IT!!!!

Um, let's see? Who would you rather listen to/look at/put in your pocket/lick off a plate? This screamy fruit-cake? Or adorable, talented, humble, actually musical Kris Allen? Perhaps Kris will not win next week, but honestly, who cares at this point? Adam has had his moments, but I'm over it. He screams too much and is totally full of himself. Just remember that I called Kris my dark horse from day one; from the first time he licked his lips & busted out his guitar. Love, love, love. Please forgive me for making an entire post about American Idol, but I have very few truly productive things to do since I can't putter around my house. Well, alright. I'm going to bed now.

I have incredibly talented friends.

They make me look hot. The good thing about having nearly every one of my best friends be a photographer is that sometimes I get to be their model. A few weeks ago Jessica was doing a mentoring session with Katie, cool Katie from Sacramento, and I got to tag along and be a poser-poser. (get it? poser like impostor and poser like model? not funny? dang it.) Anyway, me likee. Here they are, you have to scroll down past the hot couple. I'm kind of obsessed with Katie now, she's funny & talented & beautiful & drove from Sacramento to SLC like 3 minutes after having her baby to mentor with Jessica. Cool, huh? Oh, and she looked freaking FABULOUS!! Not just fabulous for having recentley popped a baby out, but fabulous for anyone. and she likes good music.

Homelessness Sucks

I miss my house. I miss my dog. I miss my own kitchen. Doing a wedding cake in someone else's kitchen sucks. Not going to the gym sucks the most of all. I suppose I could still go to Preformax, but that adds an hour of drive time onto my already stupidly busy day. After this cake is done I am definitely doing it. Because not working out plus snitching on cake equals tubby Celeste. Not good for anyone. I kinda broke down today at Young Women's. I've been all okay about the house and stuff, but I swung by there tonight to pick up some stuff & it's just so depressing. I want my life back. I want to work on my garden & sleep in my bed & do my dishes & mop my floor & wash my windows & grocery shop & all the mundane, tedious tasks that all moms moan about. I want to do them at MY OWN HOUSE!!!! Wah-wah-wah, right? It sucks.
Thank you for letting me vent.
Oh, and guess what is the suckiest ever? Well, might be the suckiest ever. I think Sawyer is allergic to Charlie. Yeah. Her month long cold has been letting up since we haven't been around our dog for 2 weeks. We have an appointment with the allergist next week, I am so scared about this prospect. I would rather put up with a permanently snot nosed child than not have Charlie in our lives. Not even kidding.

WHOOOOAAAA, NELLY!!!!

k, so San Diego was amazing, just what I needed and wonderful beyond words. Spending time with Jessica & Max is always always great, but add a little Brittany and Owen, a few hours with Rachelle and Tracy and you've got a killer first half of the week. Then all I needed to round it all out was some serious bonding time with my little girl. (But don't tell her I called her that, she's a BIG girl!) It was fantastic.
Thursday was probably one of my favorite days of my entire life. We drove up to Santa Monica along the Pacific Coast Highway and just pulled over whenever we saw something that looked like fun; good surfers to watch, a beautiful beach, a nummy restaurant, whatev. When we got there we parked near the pier because I knew that the park we wanted to go to was somewhere near there, but after walking the wrong direction for a while, then probably almost a mile in the other, we found it and it was... oh... closed. Totally fenced off for some reason. But we found swings and sand and that's about all Sawyer requires to be ridiculously happy. Then there was some mild shopping at the 3rd street promenade (LOVE), but honestly, I was pretty freaking shopped-out thanks to Jessica. I didn't think that was possible. Then we had a lovely dinner at Cafe Crepe and headed back down to our condo in Solana Beach.
I can hardly talk about how good that trip was for me without getting emotional. I am such an impatient person, I've been feeling like I'm way behind on my "life-plan," you know? Most of my friends have 4 kids by now, and not that that is part of my plan, but seriously, my kid needs someone to play with. I want to move on to the next phase of our life. Anyway, just being with Sawyer with no schedule or demands really made me appreciate how wonderful she is. We were able to just really enjoy each other and bond. Totally what I needed, but we were so excited to see Daddy. Daddy makes everything fun. But I must mention that I kick butt at traveling by myself with the kid. I am an excellent packer/organizer. Yeah me.
But then we came home to a house that decided to spontaneously combust while we were gone. Matt was staying with Danny when a pipe in the kitchen burst, and our fantastic neighbors had to rescue our furniture from an inch & a half of water. Did I mention that we just finished the basement like ten minutes ago? Um, yeah. Anyway, it all dripped down there & destroyed the beautiful mammoth couch & Matt's birthday chair & the ottoman and the carpet and the walls and the ceiling. Sad. Sad, sad house. So we are staying at Susie's and I will be adding delightful and destructive pictures, respectively, at a later date.
Anyway, wish us luck in our homelessness. Happy Spring!

Any San Diegans Out There?

Sawyer & I are going to San Diego next Monday with Jessica & Max and Brittany & Owen, and pretty much the whole point of traveling for me is to find food that is better than anything I've ever eaten before. (and when I say food, I mean cupcakes.) So yeah, who knows of the best places to eat, things to do and shops to shop in the lovely SD? And cupcake shops of course.
We will defiantly be making the trek to Santa Monica for some Vanilla Bakeshop action, but I'm open to suggestions.
Bueller? Bueller?

I have a testimony...

...of my new skin care routine.

I have always had great skin, but since having Sawyer I have gotten more zits than I ever did in junior high & high school combined. It makes me a wee bit annoyed. It is physically impossible for me to not pop zits, and therefore I am getting icky scars on my face. Not lovely.

But I recently discovered a few new products that I am in love with and I think it would be rude to not share.

#1- Kirkland Signature Daily Facial Wipes. I always wash my face in the shower, but at night, it's like pulling teeth to get me to take my makeup off, and Loreli Gilmore would be ashamed of me. I have often wished that I could give my face & teeth to Matt & have him take care of them while I snuggled in bed. But guess what, these little buddies fit right in my nightstand & one is all I need to get all my makeup off and have that "just got a facial" yummy feeling. My skin is back to good again!

#2- I am determined to have great skin when I'm 90. Sunblock, check! Vitamins, check! Lots of water, check! Sunglasses to prevent squinting, check! But I recently bought my first wrinkle cream & I am in love with it. It took a few days for my face to get used to it, but now I put it on every night and I totally feel firmer. Get it at Costco in a two-pack for much, much cheaper.

#3- The retinol in the RoC makes your skin more susceptible to sunburn, so be sure to load up on sunscreen in the morning. I especially love this'n. Aveeno Positively Radiant SPF 30 is bueno.

So yeah, there ya go. If you have any suggestions, or favorite products, let me know.

it's official: I'm spoiled

Yesterday I had pretty much worked my booty off trying to get our poor neglected house back into some semblance of order. Sawyer & I have been taking it easy this week because we've been sick. It's an annoying kind of sick though, because we aren't like, gonna die, we can pretty much do everything normally, we just have lots & lots of phlegm-friends that come along with us and coughing in public isn't appreciated. But not taking it easy last week did not help us get better & so this week we're staying in as much as possible. Obviously, the house has suffered. It looks like a used kleenex storage facility. There are toys in every possible nook & cranny. Or at least there were until yesterday. It was very very clean when Matt came home. (of course that only lasts for about 20 minutes with a kid, but whatever.) Anyway, Matt was supposed to have been working late & I had some plans to grout our tile while he was gone, and amaze him with a clean, completely grouted house. I left the bags of grout on our stairs in the garage, right where I wouldn't forget about doing it. Unfortunatley, parking cars in our luxury-sized Ivory homes garage requires an advaced degree in Tetris. Everything has to be in the proper place or else things don't fit in at all. Apparently Matt's nice new car overlaps the stairs, and putting the bags of grout where I did caused a bit of damage. Last week I put the stroller in the wrong place & scratched up his front fender. Anyway, when he came home, let's just say that the first thing that came out of his mouth was not "wow, Celeste, this place looks amazing, you must be tired, let me make dinner," like I was hoping. And of course I lack the ability to take criticism without becoming completley defensive and arrogant. Fortuntaley, we're talking about Matt Davis here. He is so incredibly perfect for me & didn't fuel my irrational fire, but looked at things from my point of view & made everything better even as I was turning things all around & being mad and stuff. Anyway, not only is he amazing & un-prideful and sexy, but he's also extremley generous. I got an early Mother's Day present. It's one of those cute little netbooks, a tiny laptop mostly for internet usage! I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT! There goes my productivitiy, right back down the toilet! I have named him Tiny Little SuperGuy. Which reminds me.
How great is Sesame Street? Besides Kirsten & Kierstin, I don't know who else would come up with the idea to draw a little dude on a cup.
"Hey, let's have him just go through countertops & walls, that'd be cool!"
"Yeah, and what if he sounded like a life-long smoker? Great idea!"
I love it.

ummm p.s.

just in case you were wondering, I've got a few significant news flashes for ya'll:
1- $500 does not actually go as far as it seems
2- I don't care what the commercials say, the Mayan restaurant has in fact NOT improved their food quality
3- having my parents home after 18 months is the BEST EVER!!!!
4- moving my computer to the basement has increased productivity at my house like you would NOT believe! Did you know that it is not actually necessary to get each email as soon as it dings into your inbox? Were you aware that IMDB-ing every movie related question that randomly pops into your head as you clean doesn't really help you get your cleaning done very quickly? Who would have thought?
and
5- I am going to be in San Diego this time next week. :p (that's me sticking my tounge out at you.)

I just won $500 at my gym. Cash Money!!!

What would you do if you won $500? I cannot even wrap my brain around it.

a lengthy post about a lot of different things

There are things I've been experiencing that cannot be attributed to anything other than a tender mercy from my loving Heavenly Father, or at least that's how I'm choosing to look at it, (had to (lovingly) throw that last part in for my brother Doug).
People are so kind. I'm learning this. We all have so much to give each other. So many ways to lift one another up. That is why one of Satan's best tricks is to get us to make snap judgments about each other that separate us and cause competitive thoughts or jealousy. At least it's one of the traps I'm best at stepping in.
There is an adorable girl at my gym. I see her nearly everyday. She is everything I'm not; petite, blond, slightly tattooed, yet somehow still classy and sweet and just really tight & toned. I always notice her but haven't really had a chance to talk to her much until recently. She's friends with one of my gym-friends, and now I know her name & enough to say hi. She heard I was expecting & asked about how I was feeling last Friday. Of course I told her that I was feeling quite fine as my uterus had returned to it's uninhabited state. My words seem trite as I try to describe the sisterhood I felt with her as we talked for the next half hour about the pain of our experiences and how we don't understand why these things happen; how we just kind of hold on to the hope that "it'll happen when it's supposed to" is true. Who made that phrase up anyway? I have kept people at a distance so often because of judgments I've passed on them based on their appearances or something I've heard. I have missed out on enumerable friendships and joys because of that. It makes me sick to think about. Also makes me want to knock it the hell off. There are people who stand up in fast & testimony meeting and tell the whole congregation that they love them. There are people who think that those people are on Ecstasy or something. But I know one thing, when gym friend & I had that talk, and she said "I love you", & I said & meant it back, it felt like that was a much more natural state than my normal place of judgment. That felt true. As Billy Corgan says, "there's a love that God puts in your heart." And yes, I did just bust out Smashing Pumpkins lyrics in this sappy post.
MOVING ON
I love that my daughter always just shimmies up to her teachers and holds their hands & loves them. Primary teachers, ballet teachers, swimming teachers, gym day-care teachers. Everyone. She is a little lover.
MOVING ON
You think I can cook? I make wedding cakes, I'd better be able to handle myself in the kitchen somewhat, right? Most of the time, I'm okay. But damn that Adam Lambert. Last week my DVR quit recording right before his performance, and so the next day, as I was making a batch of buttercream I thought I ought to google it and watch it because, although he isn't my pick to win American Idol, he's always worth watching. 20 minutes later I hear my fire alarm going off upstairs. The entire kitchen/front room/entry/dining room is flooded with smoke. Stop, drop & roll variety smoke. I had 2 1/4 cups sugar and 1/2 cup water on the stove that ooops I forgot about. Thank goodness Sawyer was over at a friends because I'm thinking she would have freaked out. Thank goodness it was a nice day & airing the house out was a highly pleasant experience. Thank goodness it didn't actually overflow, so clean up was as simple as throw my favorite pot in the garbage. Pretty ugly, huh?I stuck a golf club in it to make sure it was dead.
MOVING ON
But other than that little incident, I have declared myself the Golden Goddess of Cake. Let me have just a tiny little brag shesh. This last cake I did I was kinda not excited about because it was pretty plain. Just white fondant and fresh flowers. But can I just say that this was the most perfect fondant application I have ever done? She had me do one tier of foam & that always scares me because the edges usually give it away, but not this one, no one could guess which one it was. YEAH ME!!!! Go look at my cake blog if you want to see.
MOVING ON
My parents come home from their mission in less than 48 hours!!!!!
MOVING ON
Easter is the best. Sawyer loves Easter. She loves bunnies, candy, making cookies, frilly new dresses, finding things & Jesus. What could be better? The Easter Bunny went a little crazy at Ross this year & got her a new swimming suit (too big) and Ariel swim fins & goggles that she wore all day Sunday. The Easter Bunny (and Sawyer) just might be a little excited for their trip to San Diego in 2 weeks. The end.

I'm not really going to curse God & die

k, my last blog may have scared a few of you, my feelings that day scared me, I'll admit. Honestly I ran the whole gambit of emotions in a very short amount of time, anger, denial, grief and all that, but now I am at a very nice okay-ness. God & I made up on Sunday night, we're all good now, and he gave me a huge dose of the comfort & peace that I asked for. Seriously, I woke up Monday morning with a strange sense of euphoria and goodness. Everything is gravy. The timing of this birth must be really important in his/her life. Or something, I just hope it all makes sense one day. Its not even so much that I'm afraid I'll never have another baby, I just hate double HATE the process of t r y i n g. "We're TRYING to get pregnant." It just sounds so tedious. (and yes, I know where babies come from, that part isn't the part that sucks.) It's just that each month when Aunt Flo arrives you feel like a total failure. That beeotch sucks enough already without stamping a big fat FAIL on your forehead. I hate peeing on sticks. I hate finding the cutest freaking nursery ideas and not feeling free to act on them. I hate that my daughter prays everynight for a baby in mama's tummy. I also hate that she doesn't have anyone to play with all day except me, and am considering adopting a princess obsessed 3 year old with an outrageous imagination just so I can get things done around here. I just want to move on to the next phase of life. I am retardedly impatient! I think I need to go watch American Idol. That always makes everything better. ...........yummmm Kris Allen.....
Goodnight.

the second time around is actually worse....

...who'd have thought that was possible? For the like six people on the planet who I haven't told yet, I was pregnant recently. Friday was our first pre-natal appointment. Heartbeat & all was groovy. Joy! My adorable sister-in-law Jennifer is also pregnant & we were so excited to have babies close in age again. Whatever. This sucks. I'm really pissed off this time around. Is that okay? Is that normal? I'm just mad as hell. At what, you might ask. Name it. My girly parts. Myself. My husband. My daughter. My doctor. God. Not very humble of me, huh? I know these types of experiences are a chance for me to grow closer to my Heavenly Father & Savior if I just turn to them in faith. I'm supposed to learn something with each earthly experience, right? Or else what is the point of all this suckiness? I know this, yet I'm not ready to "make nice" just yet. Thanks to the Dixie Chics for a song that will hopefully get me through this part. Hopefully this part is short & in a few days I can remember that "all things will work together for your good." Actually even as I say that I know that in the past, in my life, when things just seem so not fair & I can't understand why I'm going through something, when I look back at those times years later, I see that the plan of the Father is always greater and more beautiful than anything I could have ever dreamed up on my own. It's gonna be fine.
um... p.s. sorry, if I didn't make it clear, Melissa, I had a f-ing miscarriage again.

K, really this time, Taiwan

Alright, so my dad just sent out a quick summary of what we did on my trip to Taiwan, so I think I'll just copy that & embellish it with my thoughts & pictures & stuff where I see fit. (Because that's just how lazy I am. Also, I don't have a proper computer chair yet in my office & I'm pretty sure some carpal tunnel is in my future if I don't keep it short.) So here's papa's summation: "Celeste came to visit us and we took her to a few close places that are unique to Asia. 1) Taipei 101 Tower and fastest elevator in the world. (Freaking amazing. There is also one of the best malls there that I never got a chance to shop, and it was Taipei Fashion Week of all things. I was DYING to go to everysingle fashion show they were having, but it didn't happen. :( Really cool regardless.) 2) Wulai waterfall and a Chinese market street. (Beautiful & freaky respectively. Everyone there was telling me how they had the best food there, and yes, some nice restaurants we went to were amazing, but most of what they're proud of is the street vendor food, including chicken feet, chicken with heads still attached, chicken butts (not kidding), snake soup, very small snails, grubs, warm drinks with gelatin cubes that do a darn good impression of ice cubes to the untrained eye, and many other unidentifiable food products.) 3) Zoo and Panda bears. (Also amazing, I'd definitely put the Taipei zoo up there with San Diego, it was fantastic. I thought a zoo might not be much fun without Sawyer to ooh & awe at everything, but apparently I'm still 3 years old when it comes to animals. I thoroughly enjoyed it. When you walk in, they hand you a paper with your appointment to see the Pandas, at that time, you join the other 3000 people in line and are rushed past the pandas by zoo security at a pace that didn't allow my dad to even get one picture of them. It was great though, Chinese people are funny.) 3) (yes, my dad did put #3 twice, he's so stinking cute.) The National Palace Museum; when Chiang Kai-Shek left Mainland China he brought many very old artifacts and artwork. Cooking pots and stuff that is several thousand years old. We also visited his residence (one of many). (I'm not a big museum gal, but this was definitely cool. It was great to see all the craftsmanship and beauty of simple ancient tools, I can't imagine taking the time to make things that beautiful during that time. It's crazy.
4)The Martyrs Shrine; just in time to witness the changing of the guard ceremony. (fanTASTic! When I grow up I want to practice marching 9 hours a day. And wear a mirrored helmet. Seriously these guys were awesome, not a single mistake, and I was looking for them. You can see the train tracks from their years & years of hourly marching.) 5) two very nice Chinese dinners, thanks to our LDS cab driver and the temple engineer and his family. (freaking yum, although I must say that shabu shabu or hot pot dining is much more trouble than its worth in my book.) Sunday while Joyce taught piano, Celeste and I went to the Craft store at the hospital and was able to see some of the great artwork the Chinese do. (and were able to have great talks & father/daughter time, something I forgot how much I love/missed.) We went to Longshan Temple (Taoist) and to Snake Alley. (these were both really, really cool. It was weird at the temple to see people worshiping in such a public setting, there were as many tourists as worshipers, but they didn't seem at all inconvenienced by people snapping pictures of them at their temple. Very odd to me. I kinda didn't like being there for that reason. At snake alley, another famous night market there is this one restaurant that specializes is snake meat products and has a pair of boa constrictors out front to draw a crowd. The snake-wrangler girl was pure entertainment, I didn't understand a word, but she was an awesome show-woman.) Monday we used the High speed train (up to 260 miles per hour. Wish we had those here.) and went to Tainan and saw the forts that was used to defend Tainan, the first Chinese settlement in Taiwan. Tuesday we went to Yeliou on the North shore and saw the Mushroom rocks and other strange rock formations created by the force of tide and waves. (Yeliou was probably my favorite of all. The coast there is primarily sandstone & it is like no other place I've seen or every heard of. I felt like I was on another planet.) Then we continued along the north shore to where the Danshuei river empties into Taiwan strait. Spent some time visiting the many shops there (I had soaked my shoes, socks & bottom part of my pants through at Yeliou, and was kinda miserable until my cute mom insisted on buying me not one, not two, but three pairs of socks. The cute lady who took us on this excursion was so sweet, she emptied her entire package of kleenex from her purse to line my wet shoes with, then we shoved my thrice-stockinged feet in my poor wet old man shoes and I was nice & cozy the entire rest of the night. What a difference dry feet make. And being babied a bit by your mama doesn't hurt either.) and then rode the train home to get ready for her return to the US and our trip to Malaysia. When she went to the airport; we went with her and went to Malaysia." Long story short- my parents are the greatest, Taiwan is awesome & I am so grateful to have been able to go on this trip. My husband insisted, my sisters & neice took care of my girl and I didn't worry about her a bit thanks to them. And my blog-readers told me I was a 'tard if I didn't go. So yeah, thanks for that.