Yup, it sure is gonna kill me.

I am sure you are all sick of hearing about my dog situation, but if you could, please post something about it on your own blog. Feel free to steal your favorite picture of her from my blog, post her gorgeousness and maybe we'll find the best home for her ever. She's on ksl.com as of this morning, so you can also add a link to that. Here it is: http://www.ksl.com/index.php?nid=218&ad=7287869&cat=105 copy that onto your post also if you will, so that they can get in touch with me directly. Now I need to go figure out how to dry my keyboard out. Does the salt in tears mess up electronics?

I think it's gonna kill me.

I just don't know what to do about the Charlie/Sawyer situation. It seems the Zyrtec, the electro-static allergen blocker air filter, the hardwood floors, the poor dog not being allowed in Sawyer's room, and even keeping Charlie outside for a huge part of the day, oh, and the nearly constant vacuuming and dusting are just making zero difference in how much Charlie effects Sawyer's allergies. Plus, Charlie has been having some hip problems, and really seems to miss the carpet & couch that she was allowed to sleep on. I even bought her a memory foam dog bed, and she's still stiff everytime she gets up. It seems like no one is winning here. Sawyer's excema seems to be worsening. I hate to say it, but I don't know what else to do. Does anyone deserve to take over spoiling my indescribably beautiful, loving, sweet, obedient, sweet, shiny, loving, amazing dog? Yeah, she's large, but seriously, wouldn't you rather be able to see the poop on the lawn so that you don't step in it? I think my favorite thing about her, (and the suckiest thing of all about losing her) is that she is like a sister to Sawyer. The second we had that baby, she instead of going into jealous mode, she went totally protective. When someone would come to the door she would stand at the end of the hallway to Sawyer's room & bark instead of going to the door. She lets Sawyer take rides on her & dress her up and climb all over her & pull her face off, and she just licks her & loves her. When I say "Charlie, where's Sawyer?" Sawyer starts to run around the kitchen island & Charlie chases her around slow enough that it takes her a few laps to catch up & Sawyer squeals and giggles the whole time. It's the best. She thinks she's a lap dog, anytime you sit on the floor, she will plop her butt down in your lap. When you stub your toe and start crying on the floor (just a little bit) she will come over and put her head on your shoulder. She can also take off your socks for you at the end of a long day. That's her best trick. She never pulls unmentionable items out of the trash and drags them into the living room. She never begs at the table. She doesn't eat your underwear. She has never not once eaten or destroyed in anyway a cake I was working on. She doesn't pee or poop in the house, and when she has to throw up, (rarely) she does it on the tile, not the carpet. All she wants is a soft place to sit, someone to hang out with all day, and an occasional conversation directed at her in baby talk. We got so incredibly lucky with her. I absolutley adore her and cannot contemplate giving her up, but I simply don't know what else to do. If the right person came along, maybe it wouldn't be so gut wrenching.

I know it's been a minute, but....

...we've been super busy
-moving back into & enjoying our house,
-celebrating the 4th of July,
-having a much needed MDC get-together,
-falling more & more in love with the young women in our ward at Girl's Camp.
So yeah, it's been a bit hectic.
But here are the highly anticipated (yeah right, no one reads my blog anymore.) pictures of Sawyer's golf clubs, in all their pink glory. Sawyer loves to carry them "all by my lone," sets them up and picks the perfect club, then basically screams like a crazy person when she hits the ball. Its the best.We had a low-key & perfect 4th of July, BBQ-ed with my parents at Susie's, then did fireworks with the Steven K. Davis family (Matt's brother). Sawyer was really into fireworks this year, conducting them just like I used to do. Apparently it's a genetic tendency, who knew?Kierstin had all of our high school girls friends & their families over for a pot-luck-a-rific party complete with s'mores on the firepit. YAY Kierstin, thanks for sharing your amazing yard and organizational skills with us, you guys are the best! We seriously need to do that every month. I love that our kids are becoming like cousins, that's what we always dreamed about in high school, and it's happening!!! How cool! Here's Porter squashing Max and Quincie & Mia chillin' in the port-a-crib.
I think Sawyer got a tad bit sick of being photographed there though, check out her paparazzi face, she's been studying Paris Hilton & other hooker-ific faux-lebrities. (I'm just glad she kept her panties on.)



OH! Then there was Girl's Camp. Last Wednesday through Saturday, I actually camped. Not glamped in a million dollar cabin, but CAMPED for real in a tent & everything. However, it really was kinda glamp-ish because I mooched off of the amazing Brooke Barker and slept in her heated tent on her 20" thick air mattress. Its hardly roughing it when you bunk with her. I had an amazing time getting to know her, the other leaders and especially the girls better. And getting mosquito bit like nobody's business. Good times. We also had a new girl move in like 3 days before camp & she was a rockstar & decided to come to camp and we all quickly fell in love with her. Honestly I felt like I was hanging out with a 15 year old Laura Dugovic, it was such a blast! I love them both all the more for that. So yeah, Laura now that you are too busy with your blossoming photography business to blog, I can just go hang out with your younger doppleganger. Everyone wins!

$10,466.96 later....

yesterday we went to RC Willey & got everything we need to replace the stuff we lost in the flood. If anyone needs to purchase home owner's insurance & aren't sure about who to go with, please, ask me, I have nothing but amazing things to say about ours & how they handled this whole process. I think it's Allied, but I don't quote me. Oh, and if you need to buy any furniture any time soon, go see Van Ormsbee at the 2100 south RC Willey. Seriously, you will be so happy you did. I'm not going to lie & say it wasn't a complete blast spending that much money in one shot. I love shopping with Matt, and the fact that Sawyer was awesome for the whole 4 1/2 hours we were there didn't hurt at all. We decided on some awesome stuff, 2 sectionals, a dining room set, 2 ottomans, 2 huge rugs, bar stools, a buffet/server thing, an end table and an amazingly beautiful painting of a horse. Good times. I was going to be all braggy & post pictures of all the stuff on here, but I'd rather host ourselves a "Welcome Home" party to thank all of our wonderful friends & family for being so supportive, feeding us, letting us and/or our dog or child live with them, helping install flooring, listening to me gripe and especially not noticing that stress goes directly to my gut. :) (or at least not saying anything if you have noticed.)
We are still waiting on the basement kitchen counters, the sinks & appliances being installed, and the baseboards around the front room to be replaced. Those are a pain, by the way. I did the ones in the bedrooms & halls, and I was being all anal about it, patching dings & stuff in the walls. I pretty much worked for 32 out of 48 hours over Friday & Saturday, and my back was screaming. My parents helped me move our bedroom furniture back in this weekend, and they look awesome with the new hardwood/laminate floors. I cannot wait to have the new stuff arrive, but because I have girls camp this weekend, it won't come until the 14th. There is still alot of work to be done, but I can definatley see the light at the end of the tunnel and we are all so excited to get back to normal life with all of us together & in our own place! YAY!!! I will post pictures of the 4th of July & Sawyer's pink golf clubs later, they are so cute, you'll die.

Celebrity Collage by MyHeritage

MyHeritage: Family trees - Genealogy - Celebrities - Collage - Morph

Freaking awesome, I look like Howard Dean! My friend Kierstin had this on her blog & I totally stole it, but she had WAY better people on hers than mine. I guess that's what you get for being a Swedish supermodel. Me? I get Howard Dean.

NEW BAND!! NEW BAND!!!

New to me at least. I always thought would always be a cool person, music-wise, you know, stay on top of what's new & cool, not listen to FM 100 or kid's music in the car. As it turns out I really hate the majority of radio stations, and it's so rare that they actually play new & interesting music, so I don't really listen to the radio at all. But when I do, it's worth all the car dealership guys screaming at me when I run across something new & delicious... like these guys:



The Airborne Toxic Event. I just downloaded their album & I think I've listened to it about 14 times today. Amazing. I may not be the girl going to a small, obscure punk show every weekend anymore, but at least the Young Women in my ward fight over who gets to ride in my car because I have good stuff on my ipod.

The Price is Wrong, Biatch!!

This weekend Matt & I went with most of his siblings & Susie to LA to support Ryan in his life-long dream of going on The Price is Right. We scrambled to round up 15 people (thank you, Brittany) so that we didn't have to sleep out on the street all night to get in, but even with a guaranteed group ticket, we were there from noon to four before we even got in the door. It was really fun though. Not something I need to repeat, but fun. I wish I could get tickets to something I care about though, SYTYCD or American Idol. Drew Carey looked awful in real life, but was way more funny than I thought he would be. Matt's brother Steven actually was the one who got called up, it was fun that one of us did. We all had awesome shirts and a lot of fun, but it's always fun when we're with his family. They are slightly crazy though, I must say. In a good way. I love how they say what's on their minds & forgive quickly & keep the fun going. They really help each other (and me) be better people.
Matt & I flew down on Friday night & stayed in a fancy schmancy hotel in Santa Monica for a few nights before we met up with the fam. I ate lots of cupcakes of course, and we found a pizza place that we visited both for dinner & breakfast the next day, it was that good.
Probably the best part about the weekend was coming home to a house that was fully tile-d & cabinet-ed! Just waiting on the laminate & the countertops now!!! Yay!!! I gotta tell ya, it's be MUCH more tough than I thought, being out of our home. Home is big. Big deal. It's like a fifth member of the family. Not having Charlie is also big. No bueno. She's been kinda struggling, too. She's got an ear infection, a staph infection and someone has been gnawing on the tips of her poor little ears, and those are infected too. 150 dollars to the vet later & I still can't even take care of her, someone else is doing it. I'm so grateful for them, but I HATE HATE HATE HATE that it's not me. I was bawling more than just a little when I took her back. (Laura, do you want to take her for a week or two until we're back in the house? Kidding. (but only kinda.))
I just pray that the non-carpeted house & the new air filters & the Zyrtec & the cleaned air ducts & not letting Sawyer sleep with Charlie will be enough to allow us to keep her.
It's always tough coming home from a trip without Sawyer, she always acts out for a few days until we establish the rules again. (Which is frustrating, because Kierstin said that Sawyer was awesomely obedient & lovely for her.) Anyway today sucked, and all I could think was that it would be so much easier if I had a few more kids by now. Siblings to play with seem get you some more time to get things done. But I don't know, is that true? Or maybe it just makes for more disciplining & cleaning up after people. Breaking up fights & all that. Anyway, mothers of more than one, what do you think? Not that it matters, I don't have any other kids at the time, so what's the point of wishing I did?
Also I'd like you to know that Jimmy Fallon is the only late night host I have ever not hated. But now it's time for me to go to bed. Good night.

i heart santa monica

Escapism is my forte

Seriously, I know I'm spoiled. I am so lucky to be able to take a little trip off to paradise pretty much anytime I deem necessary. Between Susie's St. George condo & the "cab-mansion" above Oakley, it's good to be a Davis. In the beginning of this rapidly ending month we call June, Sawyer & I set off to the cabin with a select group of awesome people: my parents (who will probably request to be buried at the cabin), my good friend Emily & her daughter Talley & newborn boy Drayden, and the lovely Laura & Kort. Bubbuh (Laura's amazingly beautiful & sweet dog), Charlie & Jasmine (Kierstin's wiener dog I was babysitting) also joined us for a few days of hiking, reading, discussing reading, fighting over the baby & eating good food. I am so grateful for such awesome friends who although they didn't know each other at all, are just the type of people who I knew would be awesome friends by the time we were done. Thank you guys, it was just what I needed. I honestly was kinda dreading the trip, because I thought I'd be too anxious about the house and all that goes along with it to relax, but it was perfect! Laura & Kort arrived right as I was trying to put Sawyer down (WAY past her bedtime) and were instantly in love with one another, jumping all over the Love Sac and giggling hysterically. The kids played beautifully with each other all week, and the mommas were able to have some great talks and reads. The best thing about it was seeing how Sawyer reacted to being with Charlie all week; obviously she loved being with her buddy again, but it was nice to know that we can handle these allergies without getting rid of Charlie. Zyrtec in the morning, wash hands after petting, don't have carpet & don't let the dog sleep on Sawyer's bed, and everything is gravy. My parents were awesome, it was so much fun to see them together up there again, to see how patient they were with all the kids, but particularly Kortland who has more energy than a hive of bees, and wanted to go on a hike or look for bugs or build a fire with my dad every second he could. And for those who I invited (albeit last minute) who couldn't come, maybe you need to be reevaluating your priorities, huh? Just kidding, work is important. lame.

Crafty time with Grandma

Jasmine standing guard over Drayden.

Mom & Dad enjoying the tin foil covered fruits of their labors.

Gorgeous, amazing kids piggin out.

Anyone who will make out with my overly-affectionate dog is alright by me.

I miss her....

....like you wouldn't believe. Please hurry & get fixed, house, so our family can be together again.

Is there a reason you aren't watching this show?

I am a newly converted HUGE fan of So You Think You Can Dance. The things these people can do are pretty much in the superhuman category. Wednesday & Thursdays are my new favorite days. Philip & Jason are my picks for winners, I can't decide quite yet, it's still too early, but here's a bit of Philip & his mad skills.
Please enjoy cuz it's impossible not to.

I think it's gonna be worth it...

... all this flood crap. We have to replace all our living room, dining room & family room furniture, and since most of it was gifts from Susie that were needing to be replaced soon anyway, we're kinda cleaning up on this whole deal. Last night we went to RC Willey and found a bunch of stuff we love. This dining table is pretty much ridiculous. It is soooo gorgeous. You can't really see it in this picture, but there is the most lovely ironwork footrest on the base. I am not getting those ornate chairs, but rather these retardedly comfy ones.

This is the leather sectional we are pretty sure on for upstairs. We wanted leather so that a) Charlie wouldn't want to hop up on it and b) if she does, her hair won't imbed itself in the leather like it would upholstery. It's kinda sexy & very comfy. I don't like those nailheads they use in nearly every leather couch, but this one doesn't have as many as most do, so it doesn't bug me.
We ordered a sectional like this, ours is bigger though and has a chaise & what they call a "cuddler". It's very aptly named. But this is the color we're getting. I love it, it'll be in the basement, replacing the beloved Mammoth. Trust me, we're okay with not getting the Mammoth again, this one is delightful! And that's what we've been up to. Well, that & choosing tile (amazing!) and engineered hardwood flooring for upstairs. I'm super excited to get back in that place & I am pretty sure we're going to throw a freaking fun welcome home party for our near & dear ones who have been so supportive & nice to put up with us & our complaining.

I am easily entertained

I have no problem admitting that. I loved Twilight the first time I saw it. I loved Wolverine too. There's also a lesser known little flick called "The Pest" with John Leguziamo that is easily the most annoying movie of all time, and guess who ADORES it? Yup, me. All I ask from a movie is that it take me out of reality for a minute, and my imagination is pretty good, so I can actually really enjoy a cheaply produced shoddy excuse for a movie adaptation. And I am really excited for this.

I don't care if you think I'm dumb or easily entertained, because I am.

Not the dumb part, the easily entertained part. Just so we're clear.
but I must point out that in this trailer it's funny how Jake first doesn't have a shirt on, then he does. Amazing.

so I have yet another amazing friend...

...Laura Dugovic. Not only does she make a seriously mean pancake, write a touching, hilarious & thought-provoking blog (oftentimes in the same post), but she's also hot as hell, an amazing mom & wifey, has adorable style, is debt free (RAD!) and rescues animals, and is also my personal Mrs. Congeniality, but she is also a hugely ridiculous humanitarian. She is one of those crazy people who actually think they can make a difference, and does. Trust me, you wish you knew her. Check out the newest coolest thing on her Serve Utah blog. Seriously, do it. Do it now. Open your iTunes account and open your heart & join the ranks of those crazy people who think they can make a difference. It'll take you ten seconds. Way less time than you waste reading my blog. WAY less.

A Very Merry Ex-Birthday to You!

Today is my ex-husbands birthday. I'm pretty sure he's turning thirty today. This is the only picture I have left of him. I kept it because I want to make sure that my kids know that when I say "you marry who you date; don't date him if you don't wanna marry him," that I know what I'm talking about. I don't know when exactly I'll tell them about him, but when I do, I want to have a visual aide.
It's taken a long time, but I can finally say honestly that I wish him well. Happy Birthday, Jared. Thank you for making the decision to divorce you very easy to make. I'm so grateful for the things I learned by hitting rock bottom & clawing my way back to where I belong. I'm so grateful that now I can look back at our 9-month marriage and not feel resentful or victimized. I never should have gone on a second date with you. That was my fault, and it opened the doors for the next few years of manipulation, abuse, confusion and drama. That time shaped & changed me, and I cannot regret it because it was part of the path to now. It taught me about the atonement and about the unconditional love of my Savior & Father in Heaven. I wouldn't trade that for anything. Matt always jokes that my family loves him so much because compared to Jared, anyone would look great, but that is only kind of true. I think my family loves him so much because they can see that he was worth it. But honestly, they have no idea just how worth it Matt is. I'd go through Jared-hell over & over again just for the hope that someone like Matt was on the other side. So Happy Birthday, Jared, and again, thank you. Thank you for being a part of my path to now. Because now kicks ass.

PICTURES!!! FINALLY!!! (but not before a big huge rant)

I've been trying not to just be a huge whiner on here lately. I feel like I have to try hard to not just say "homelessness sucks" over and over and over. There are so many good things about this situation, but honestly, you have no idea how much we all take our homes, our very own homes for granted. I for one get a lot of my own personal sense of accomplishment from doing things around my house, things that can't really be done at someone else's. I have been trying to continue working out, working on my garden, keeping up our normal lives & schedules, but it just feels fake.
Yesterday I had a minor breakdown. I just feel so overwhelmed with decisions and at the same time feel completely in limbo and at the SAME time feel completely overbooked. Seriously, it's been from miscarriage to wedding cake to San Diego to flooding to moving into Susie's to my parent's homecoming and my nephew's wedding with all manner of family in town to photo sesh to cabin trip to making nephew's wedding cake to cake consultations to driving to Idaho tomorrow (with a cake!) then other nephew's priesthood ordinations to driving home to picking up my BFF's dog to watch for a week then up to the cabin to relax which I will undoubtedly not be able to do because I will be thinking about all the crap going on at my house & the fact that I should NOT be up at the cabin when my house needs decisions made if we ever want to move back in. (holy run on sentence, Batman!) And the dog. Don't even get me started on that issue. She was what put me over the edge yesterday, just contemplating a life without my Charlie. Don't worry, it's not happening, but for a minute there, I couldn't see any way around it. But this all may have something to do with the fact that I haven't been taking my happy pills because I am petrified that they are what is causing me to miscarry. (despite the fact that my doctor assures me that they are not.) But the honest truth is this: I can't really do it right now without Prozac. I can admit that. The few days that I wasn't taking them (because the amount of exhausted I was lead me to believe that I might be preggers) I had some icky fights with myself, my husband & Sawyer. The fact that I haven't been making it to the gym this week doesn't help. AT ALL. I need those happy little endorphins that I get from working up a sweat. I need that hour of vacant brain time, where my mind shuts the hell up and I get to listen to my muscles scream instead. Anyway, things are a bit rough around the edges right now, but they will smooth out. Reading NieNie never hurts to put things into perspective.
So now I will reward the one or two of you who have made it this far with some belated pics of Sawyer & I's trip to San Diego, of the damn flood and of things that make me happy.
You don't know joy until you see Sawyer at the beach. No joke.
This literally was one of the best days of my life. Ever. Just me & my girl cruisin' the Pacific Coast Highway and stopping whenever we wanted for whatever we wanted. B.L.I.S.S.
The only thing that could have made it better is if Daddy would have been able to be with us. Regardless, that trip was just what I needed.
We probably walked two miles to get to this park only to find it in disrepair and closed. Sad.
On our last day, we had some time to kill & decided to spend it at the "castle temple" just snuggling in the grass & watching brides & bridal parties.
This is what that whole week felt like to me. Just contentment. Thank you, baby girl for a wonderful time. Thank you, Daddy for letting encouraging us to go (and footing the bill).
And you know what is even better? This wasn't even half of the fun we had! The first part of the week was with Jessica & Max & all their Cali buddies; who are now our buddies as well. But when I'm with Jess, I don't dare take pictures because she'll make fun of me for using my flash & being so dumb with my amazing camera, so you'll have to go here to see all that.
And now for pictures of the flood damage. Are you ready? Please remember that we just finished the basement like fourteen minutes before this happened.All our shish in the garage thanks to our amazing neighbors.The beautiful Mammoth sofa. Dead.The sad, sad state of our drywall.
Anyway, most of that is fixed now, we just need to clean out all the cabinets so they can be ripped out upstairs and get the carpet/laminate guy scheduled, then the new cabinets can go in & then we can go back in! Yay! Here are other things that made me say Yay lately.
Mom & Dad coming home!

(Is that not the best picture ever? I love these two guys beyond all words.)

My peony bush deciding to give it another go this year!!!The tree I planed last year that surprises us with a new shade of pink each season.And these two.But not these. Yucky. Never go there again. hard as rocks cupcakes es no bueno.OH! And Monday night was pretty good too. But Lola blogs about it better than I ever could, so do a little clicky-click HERE to see.

the ugly, the bad & the good

the ugly:

my house all torn up and sad and empty

the bad:

yesterday Sawyer tested positive for dog and horse allergies; her two favorite animals

the good: 

that we found this out while out house was all torn up.  We will be able to replace the dog-dander covered carpet with hardwood floors (love) that don't collect allergens as much.  Charlie is currently at Matt's brother's training to be an outside dog, which will have to be what she is once we move back in.  She can still sleep in our room with us at night though.  Unless of course Matt is also allergic to dogs which is actually very likely.  There's got to be some explanation for the amount of phlegm he wakes up with.  (thank you Celeste for that lovely visual.)

Things are going well though, the drywall, trim & painting will be done tomorrow, and then we can work on flooring & cabinets.  Good deal.

I married a hottie

Tonight Matt gets to go on his dream golf trip to Seattle. It sounds like it's going to be sooooo much fun, and he will be with his boyfriend Danny, so I'm really excited for him. He totally deserves it. He is such a hard worker and so dedicated to making our lives fun and amazing. He is ridiculously generous and sweet and patient and thoughtful and patient and inspiring and kind and patient and supportive and patient and also very, very sexy. Let me illustrate my point. Last night we were watching America Idol while he packed for his trip and he kept bringing stuff up for me to fold for him because I am an excellent folder (thank you J. Crew). Anyway, at one point he came up looking something like this:Minus the guitar unfortunately, and not as wimpy looking, fortunately. What is it about a vest plus a t-shirt that slaaays me? Then he was packing his toiletry bag and decided to spray a little bit of this:

and there ya go. Put a fork in me, I'm done. I am the luckiest girl ever. I love you baby, I hope you have an amazing time and that you come home soon, wearing your vest & t-shirt & polo cologne. And then I will attack you.

I TOTALLY CALLED IT!!!!

Um, let's see? Who would you rather listen to/look at/put in your pocket/lick off a plate? This screamy fruit-cake? Or adorable, talented, humble, actually musical Kris Allen? Perhaps Kris will not win next week, but honestly, who cares at this point? Adam has had his moments, but I'm over it. He screams too much and is totally full of himself. Just remember that I called Kris my dark horse from day one; from the first time he licked his lips & busted out his guitar. Love, love, love. Please forgive me for making an entire post about American Idol, but I have very few truly productive things to do since I can't putter around my house. Well, alright. I'm going to bed now.

I have incredibly talented friends.

They make me look hot. The good thing about having nearly every one of my best friends be a photographer is that sometimes I get to be their model. A few weeks ago Jessica was doing a mentoring session with Katie, cool Katie from Sacramento, and I got to tag along and be a poser-poser. (get it? poser like impostor and poser like model? not funny? dang it.) Anyway, me likee. Here they are, you have to scroll down past the hot couple. I'm kind of obsessed with Katie now, she's funny & talented & beautiful & drove from Sacramento to SLC like 3 minutes after having her baby to mentor with Jessica. Cool, huh? Oh, and she looked freaking FABULOUS!! Not just fabulous for having recentley popped a baby out, but fabulous for anyone. and she likes good music.