Sunday, January 24, 2010

Some observations

When you're pregnant at Disney World, there are not a lot of rides you can go on. This makes for lots of time to sit & people-watch, something I've tried to limit recently as it tends to make me overly judgemental, irritable & generally not nice. However, I've decided on this occasion to just go with it. Here are a few things I've decided must be addressed:
1) there are basically 3 types of shorts, regardless of your age, sex or fitness level.
Short Number 1-shorts for public use. These include those that come to mid-thigh or lower for women, and for men knee-length, no longer. Capris are never ok on men. At least not that I've seen.








Short Number 2- shorts for exercising in. These do NOT in anyway involve denim. If you do not exercise at home enough to own & pack proper gym attire, don't try to start a workout program on vacation.
Short Number 3- shorts for sleeping in. If your butt cheeks are coming out the bottom of your shorts, that means you are wearing this type of short, and have two options: going back to bed, or changing your clothes. Please do not subject anyone to looking at your butt cheeks. Unfortunatley I wasn't able to get a picture of any, as I was afeared of encouraging them.








These are rather band-aid looking, dontcha think?
2)This is supposed to be the happiest place on earth, and believe me, it has the potential to be. But when parents make their schedules more important than their child's needs, they're just setting themselves up for the most irritable day on earth. I speak from experience as well as obsevation. I cannot tell you how many times I've had to fight the urge to turn around to some stranger & berate them for being a complete JERK to their kid(s). You'd never treat anyone else that way. Why is it okay for you to speak to a precious child on loan from God that way? It's not.
3)These are an abomination.








If you must have a double stroller, please go vertical rather than horizontal. I for one am buckin' for one of those "sit'n stand" thingers. Genius.
4)Dear Disney: ambient noise & music & sound effects have their place. They can add to the feel of an environment, but after 8 days of constant noise, plus the noise of an insane amount of people, they can drive a person a wee bit crazy. Like if-I-see-one-more-effing-Mickey-head-I'm-going-to-black-both-his-eyes-and-bloody-his-nose crazy.
5)Costco, the airport, the mall & amusement parks. What do these places have in common? The severe need to have traffic lanes painted on the pedestrian walkways. Matt always says "it's like cars." Meaning that we should walk on the right, pass on the left (when visibility allows), do not stop in the middle of the street, no walking while texting. And we've really got to come up with some sort of signalling system.
6)We may not be in a library, but there is a certain level of consideration for others that demands that you don't let your kids run around screaming. You'd be surprised at the variety of venues I've witnessed this at. Restaurants. Hotel hallways. Lobbies. Airplanes. Airports. Public restrooms. Stores.
7)And my perennial favorite: smoking.
These things must go.
I wish I had a big, huge trebuchet so that I could fling all of these things right into Cinderella's castle & watch it all go down in the inferno. Phew.

I think I'm tapped out.

But don't get me wrong. This was an amazing, fun, unforgettable trip that I'm ridiculously grateful for. I'll post about that later though. I had to get these things off my chest.

- Posted from my iPhone




4 comments:

AndersonFamily said...

you are hilarious and i love ya!!! :) plus i 100% agree :)

TAKEACTIONMEDIA said...

Glad you got those off your chest. I don't like the interference!

TAKEACTIONMEDIA said...

BTW Its your husband that commented as takeactionmedia. Sorry about that.

Matt

Jed, Erin and Kate said...

Hi Celeste! It's Erin Andersen. Just found your blog and wanted to say hello. Hope you're having a great vacation!