Thursday, March 25, 2010

Ballet Recital

This is Sawyer's second year of ballet at Creative Arts Academy, and although she did struggle with having a new, more disciplined teacher, she now loves Miss Kristina and loves "ballet-day." When they announced that the recital this year would be Swan Lake she was thrilled out of her mind because she loves the Barbie movie version of Swan Lake. And the fact that she got to be a unicorn really added to that excitement. There were a lot of days where she was really tired and not in the mood at all to rehearse or even go to ballet & I was so so so so proud of her because every time she would stick with it & try her best. That's better than I can do half the time. She's a rock star.This may sound creepy, but I think she just has the most beautiful body. She's always on her tip toes, and it shows in her legs like crazy. She's very strong & I love this picture of her back. One day, if she chooses to continue in ballet I think she'll like this picture, her posture is gorgeous. I pray that I can always teach & show her that being tall is way beautiful & I hope that she carries herself with pride & grace. I've tried to be very conscientious of the attitude I am helping her develop towards food, I don't want her to have any food/body issues. It is very important to me that I teach her to look at food as merely fuel, and to keep in mind that moderation & variety are much more important than any "diet". This seems so important to me in raising a daughter. If this is something you're concerned about or even want to straighten out your own messed up relationship with food, one book I would strongly recommend is Intuitive Eating.
Anyway, back to my amazing daughter. She's amazing. I can't wait to see what she does with her life. She's stubborn, that's for sure, and Matt & I are trying to figure out how to make that work for her (and us). One thing is sure though- once she knows what is the right thing to do, I dare you to tempt her to not do it. She is going to be such a great big sister. She talks all the time about things she's going to teach Abram & share with him. I know it'll be a tough adjustment, she's been used to being the center of our universe for a very long time, but I think she's going to be just great. In every way possible.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Quit being so lazy already, Celeste

I have tons of stuff i need to blog about; sawyer's ballet recital, an amazing baby shower, my sister is getting married Saturday (after a two minute engagement), my right hand is nearing completely useless proportions due to pregnancy induced carpal tunnel....delightful for making cakes, let me tell ya. Anyway, by the time I have a chance to sit down & blog, I'm tired & just want to sit & rot my brain with biggest loser, parenthood (LOVE), and American Idol.
And now guess what. I can't even remember what I was going to even say!
OHH wait, yes I do!
I'm trying to fill in gaps in baby's wardrobe, and am realizing that I have NO idea how to dress a summer baby, let alone a boy. And guess what else? I pretty much hate everything in nearly every store I go into. Puppies, trucks, tools & bears? Seriously? Those are my options? So yeah, what do I need for a little dude who is going to spend his first few months in a sling of some sort (need suggestions here as well) going to Grandma Susie's pool & the zoo with his big sister?

- Posted from my iPhone

Monday, March 8, 2010

Bendaroos are not my favorite

Will someone please explain to me how it is okay for the manufacturers of a product to use the words "no mess" on a product that leaves this much disgusting, impossible to remove residue on everything it touches. How is that okay?
So any suggestions as to how to remove waxy buildup from a glass table?

- Posted from my iPhone

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Ever so much better, thank you.

First, thanks everyone for kind & understanding comments. Motherhood is pretty universal, isn't it? Also, mental note to me: Everytime I think I should spare Matt the drama & just deal with something on my own, it never gets better until I cave & spill it all on his kind, patient shoulders. He knows me better than anyone, my strengths as well as my weaknesses & gives FANTASTIC advice. If we weren't married I sure hope that we'd be friends because he is the type of friend that would literally give you the shirt off his back & a big 'ol patient shoulder to cry on. (also if he's just given you the shirt off his back & is now letting you cry on his shoulder, you are 3x blessed because you now have a lovely view of his newly improved body & who doesn't like friends like that? Generous, patient, good listener AND hot? Sheesh)
Anyway, I just have to take things one day at a time & as Ashely said, remember that soon I'll be soooo in love with this little guy that any crazy boy behavior will be deal-with-able.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Who do you talk to when no one wants to hear it?

Heck, I don't even want to hear it anymore. But after a particularly "challenging" morning with Sawyer, I have to vent or else I think I might spontaneously combust, and then who would pick her up from preschool?

I am TERRIFIED to have this baby.

Is that okay to say? Take for instance a morning such as this. How in the wide, wide world of sports am I supposed to deal with Sawyer, much less parent with patience, while I also have a squirmy, needy little infant & probably no sleep?

That I could not murder one of my loved ones at some point seems to me a mathematical impossibility.

And the suckiest thing of all is that I feel like I have zero appropriate options of people to vent to.
My husband is obviously my standard go-to guy, but he's got his plate way more than full with work & stuff right now, and it's one of those times where I would much rather attempt to swallow whatever ickiness I have going on & try to create a home that is restful for him to come home to. Notice I used the word "attempt". Rarely do I succeed in that venture.

Then you have any of my close high school friends are all successfully rocking 4 kids. I would feel more than a little stupid voicing my anxiety over my 1.5 kids.
I have a few girlfriends whose lives more closely match my own, pregnant with one kid, but I hesitate to talk to them because they:
a) are incredibly sick with their pregnancies, and me with my little la-dee-dah easy pregnancy should probably just shut up
b) are running successful businesses or working full time in addition
c) are freaking amazing moms who attend the temple weekly, crochet baby booties for the homeless shelters, bake cupcakes for Haiti..... you get the picture
d) have struggled with infertility or miscarriage, and have the sense (unlike me) to just be grateful that seed has finally found shelter in their rocky shore of a womb.

or e) some combination thereof.

And then there's my mom... another excellent option normally, but I'm just not ready this morning to deal with reason & practicality.

It seems like life is just not all it's cracked up to be sometimes & I'd really like to go curl up in the fetal position (if that were physically possible for me to do anymore) and have a good cry in some dark corner of my basement. That is a luxury I cannot afford right now. There's stuff to do & not enough time to do it in. Sometimes I feel like a rat running on a wheel going nowhere with a whole lot of effort. Sometimes I feel completely, totally incapable of doing all that is going to be required of me in the extremely near future.