i just unsubscribed from a whole ton of blogs that i had in my google reader. it feels ever so good. lately i have found myself feeling completely un-okay. like i will never be good enough, crafty enough, pretty enough, thin enough, well dressed, or organized, well-read or eloquent. i spend way too much time reading all these blogs, written by a bunch of different people who all have different skill sets, and then i combine all their skills into a single super-person that i hold myself up to for comparasion. obviously i come up short every time.
i am sick to death of it.
i don't knit.
i don't decorate my home flawlessly.
i don't clean my home flawlessly.
i don't clip coupons.
i don't upcycle the trash into darling craft projects for my kids.
i don't have much of a sense of style.
i don't plan parties.
i don't do my daughter's hair very well.
i don't have 2000 hits per day on my blog.
i don't write very well.
i don't make people laugh easily.
i don't inspire people.
i don't have very many original ideas.
i could make this list very, very long
but i won't, it's not very fun.
to sum this up, i'm not that girl. half the time i feel like i'm just treading water. some days i just write down things on my to do list after i've done them, just to make myself feel like i've actually accomplished something. it ususally goes like this:
get up. check
keep kids alive. check
feed kids. check
keep house from burning down. check
think about doing dishes. check
play on facebook. check
play bookworm. check
think about taking a shower. check
but guess what? i am really good at a few things too.
i am the girl who works out (hard) 5 days a week. (usually) and loves it.
i am the girl who has created a home & family that makes my kids feel secure & loved.
i am the girl who does her darndest to be a good primary president & make sure those sweet kids know that their Heavenly Father loves them.
i am the girl who has a great relationship with her husband because we work at it.
i am the girl who folds clothes like a champ.
i am the girl who is a really good friend to a few people. not too many. quality over quantity.
i am the girl who feels like a competent cook and a phenomenal baker.
i am the girl who is learning to keep a garden (to the complete shock of her father)
i am the girl who is learning to ask for help & delegate.
i am the girl who doesn't hold a grudge. (and not just because my memory sucks)
i am the girl who is quick to apologize to her kids & admit that she was way out of line.
i am a girl who keeps trying.
i guess my new year's resolution is to quit comparing myself to others.
but do you want to know what i'm keeping in my blogroll? (besides my friends & family blogs?)
among them are:
housewife on fire
the lola letters
sofia's primary ideas
bird on the lawn
catch a fire
our best bites
single dad laughing
color me katie
p.s. i don't understand why these links aren't working. i've tried fixing it like seven times. i'm sure you can figure it out.
these ones make me smile. they help me do the important, essential things better. it's time to cut out the crap, celeste. and it feels good.