Thursday, May 5, 2011
Ode to Boy
366 days ago, at 6:04 am Matt & I had the inexplicable joy of meeting you for the first time. It feels like 10 minutes ago. We waited for you for a long, long time. I knew during each of those miscarriages, once I made it through the blinding sadness & disappointment, I knew that you were supposed to to come to this earth, to our family at a very particular time for a very particular reason. I want you to know, without a doubt that you were worth it. A thousand times over, you were worth it. I want you to also know that I know that your Heavenly Father loves you & knows you & has a plan for you. I hope we can one day understand that plan, even a little bit. He always manages to come up with the best plans. Let Him guide you. That's why we named you Abram. Abram was Abraham's name before God changed it, before Abram let God into his life & saw what He could make of it. Let your name be a daily reminder to live your life so that you can see what He can make of yours.
You have brought so much happiness to our family. You are stubborn, curious, determined (oh, goodness, so determined), funny, sweet, forgiving and strong. These are just the traits that I can already see. I'm unfathomably excited to see what else comes of you.
Please always be kind to your sister. She loves you so much. She is such an amazing example of kindness & thoughtfulness. (Also she is pretty organized, feel free to follow that example as well.)
Everyone calls you "mini-matt" but I gave you my dimples and just look at that smile-if I give you nothing else in your life, I will have given you enough to get by.
Abram, you have my heart. I don't know how else to say it, but I love you so much it's nearly embarrassing. I hope you'll have patience with me. I will want too many kisses. I will cheer too loudly at your games. (And knowing me, at the incorrect times.) I will probably hate every girl you date. I will get teary at really stupid things. Just roll your eyes at me and give me a hug, heck, I'll even settle for a side-hug. One day you'll tower over me and tell me (if you're anything like your Dad) to stop taking myself so seriously, to relax.
Oh, I pray that you are like your Dad.
I cannot think of a better man to pattern yourself after. Thus the middle name. We debated over your middle name more than anything. Abram was set in stone since I was like 13. But your middle name was tough. In fact it's incorrect on your birth certificate. It was Douglas. After my brother, one of the kindest, most Christ-like guys I know. I hope you two have a chance to become buddies. I hope he'll take you camping & hiking & climbing one day.
There was also some discussion of naming you after your uncle Scott. Uncle Scott passed away last November. He also would have been good for a hike or two. Or an IronMan. One day we'll tell you about him. About how to serve others with no thought for yourself. Almost to a fault.
Another option for the middle name was Steele, after Daddy's mission president's middle name. President Hansen is a huge reason for Daddy being the man that he is. I'll let him tell you about all that though.
Anyway, I wanted to take a minute to tell you that I love you & I'm so grateful for you. You are pure joy. I can't believe a year has passed. Your party tomorrow is going to be rad. Check out the picture I used in the invitation.Taco truck. Pinata. Sombreros. Margaritas. In fact, I need to get back to work.
I love you
Momma (or, as you are currently saying it- MAM! MAM!!)
p.s. thanks for being a really great sleeper.