Tuesday, June 2, 2009

A Very Merry Ex-Birthday to You!

Today is my ex-husbands birthday. I'm pretty sure he's turning thirty today. This is the only picture I have left of him. I kept it because I want to make sure that my kids know that when I say "you marry who you date; don't date him if you don't wanna marry him," that I know what I'm talking about. I don't know when exactly I'll tell them about him, but when I do, I want to have a visual aide.
It's taken a long time, but I can finally say honestly that I wish him well. Happy Birthday, Jared. Thank you for making the decision to divorce you very easy to make. I'm so grateful for the things I learned by hitting rock bottom & clawing my way back to where I belong. I'm so grateful that now I can look back at our 9-month marriage and not feel resentful or victimized. I never should have gone on a second date with you. That was my fault, and it opened the doors for the next few years of manipulation, abuse, confusion and drama. That time shaped & changed me, and I cannot regret it because it was part of the path to now. It taught me about the atonement and about the unconditional love of my Savior & Father in Heaven. I wouldn't trade that for anything. Matt always jokes that my family loves him so much because compared to Jared, anyone would look great, but that is only kind of true. I think my family loves him so much because they can see that he was worth it. But honestly, they have no idea just how worth it Matt is. I'd go through Jared-hell over & over again just for the hope that someone like Matt was on the other side. So Happy Birthday, Jared, and again, thank you. Thank you for being a part of my path to now. Because now kicks ass.


Jolene said...

I am impressed with your attitude and your conviction. I am so glad that you found Matt and how happy he makes you. You really do deserve him.

Jana said...

I love your honesty and i love that you've made such a happy life for yourself.

the Lola Letters said...

Ahhhh ha ha ha ha! One of my favorite posts of all time!

What a perfect tribute to the awesomeness of Matt.

I heart you times a million.

Oh, and the first three (of eleven - yikes) "Yay for going to the cabin" posts are up on the bloggio. If you wanna see cute Miss Sawyer, Kort's moth, and stuff like, such as the Iraq, come on over ;)

Jen Nelson said...

Yay for 'practice marriages' that make our current spouses even awesomer!

Ashley Thalman said...

I agree with Lola. Best post ever!