Monday, May 17, 2010

so what does one actually DO with a baby?

It feels like a long time since I've had a baby. Abram is a sweet little nugget, but I'm having such a hard time figuring out exactly how miserable I want to be in these first few months, and in what way. With Sawyer I was well rested, but miserable in that I was being a BabyWise Nazi and hardly left the house for fear of disrupting her precious schedule. I felt like a failure if she didn't act exactly like the book said she would. She started sleeping through the night at 5 weeks, and has always been a good sleeper & an all around awesome kid, so was it worth it?..... I dunno.
Abram is a different kid though. He's a huge snuggler while Sawyer wasn't much of one, so there's that. Also he loves his binkie, which I'm pretty sure is going to magically disappear from the face of the planet, because I HATE it!! He can't keep it in and just as he's about to fall asleep it falls out & he gets all pissed off. Grrrrr.
It would be really easy to have him sleep with us, just roll over & nurse him, distribute snuggles as needed, but I'm afraid of how long that would go on, afraid of squashing him, and eventually we'd have to somehow get him to sleep in his own room, and that'd just get harder every night.
So, where is the happy medium? The only things I know for sure is that I want to help him learn to fall asleep on his own, without nursing/rocking/walking him to sleep. I don't even care if he gets up at night, just as long as he goes right back to sleep, not futzes around for two hours until I feed him again like he has the last two nights.

You know how older moms are always telling you to "cherish these moments while your kids are young...they grow so fast"? Well that's pretty much my mantra, not the "cherish these moments" part, but the "they grow so fast" part. I have to keep reminding myself that this stage is so temporary, SO THAT I DON'T GO INSANE!!!! That's probably not how they mean it, is it?

I'm not a baby person.

Please don't hate me or think that I don't adore my baby or call DCFS.


Suggestions? What do you dooooo with a baby???

- Posted from my iPhone


Schmath said...

Did you read any of The Baby Whisperer books? It's kinda like Babywise, but less strict, I think. Plus I remember it having tips on the binki problem.

Celeste said...

Yeah Susie gave me a baby whisperer book. I've been pouring over it actually, but that lady is full of CRAP!!! Lol just kidding. I think I just expect him to be this robot that always acts just like she says he should, and I need to not be like that.

Ashley Thalman said...

My pediatrician told me to take the binkie away at 4 months and I thought he was INSANE!!!!! But... I wish I would have listened to him- for real! It would have been so great to take the binkie away before rolling over was perfected, before standing made falling and face-planting an issue..

If you think you hate it now you are going to HATE it even more later!

They say binkies help reduce SIDS. True or not? We kept the binkie and plan to use one with Johnny but we will both transfer him into his own room and bed at 4 months and take the binkie away.

Good luck figuring it out! Let me know what works okay?

the Lola Letters said...

Kort wouldn't take a binki either - ahhhh sooooo nice. I don't think we'll be giving baby bob the option...

If it helps at all, we kept kort in with us so I could nurse and deal with him without getting up, and he transferred GREAT when we decided we were done. I think being super close to mom in the early stages makes them more secure and in the long run, more independent.

At least this was the case with Kort...then again, he may have been a "fluke baby" and we are going to get a big fat smack in the face when baby bob gets here! haha!

So, there's a heaping dose of unsolicited advice for ya.

Aw don't mention it, you're welcome...anytime... my pleasure ;)

Brooke said...

Confession: I might call DCFS! Jk I love ya!

Truth is...there is no right or wrong way! Books...Dr's..they all give different answers for what works!

Kids have binki's till their 4....mine probably wouldn't...but some do! You're the what you want!

The best thing I ever did with Kaden that helped him go to sleep and sleep all the way through the night was a bath. Every night...even when it was just a quick warm wash cloth and some yummy lotion to finish up. He slept 10+ from 4 weeks on. It helped him know the difference between nap time and bed time...and he never felt the need to sleep right by me...cuz we had our bonding time during bath time!

And honestly, this might sound crazy, bu he always took better naps durning the day when he had a well rested night! Bath's a pain...every night...YES! But it was a sweet victory!


Kierstin said...

I think you're wise to be scared of smothering him if you co-sleep with him... it happens. Do you have one of those little cots that can scoot right up to your bed so he can sleep right next to you without being literally right next to you? Those are cool. Good luck friend! xo

Vanessa and Brett said...

We also did a schedule with Chloe and Drew from the get go. It was bath then feeding then bed. Its a big pain, but it has worked for us. Chloe still goes to better easier if she has a bath! Book wise I like Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It goes through different options with you (crying it out vs. helping to sleep, family bed vs. not) So it works for whatever you want to choose. I got it when Chloe was little so I don't know if there is a more updated version, but you are more than welcome to borrow it! Good luck. Newborns are hard. Call me if you want me to get Sawyer to play so you can nap.