scott

okay, so i've been gone. gone to california and busy with my brother in law's funeral. yup. last friday afternoon, november 19th, matt's big brother had an accident while packing up some guns to take on a scouting trip. we are all still befuddled and shocked and very very sad. scott was a kind, generous, Christ-like man that sadly i wish i had known better. he left behind a wonderful wife and 3 lovely children. (read his obituary here) seeing kim's grace in the last week has been completely overwhelming. she comforts people. she forgives people. she makes it easy for people to awkwardly attempt to comfort & serve her. grace i tell ya. that's the only word for the amazing way she is handling this. it is a gift to witness. i'm so impressed with matt's family, they just circle the wagons & support & serve & love each other with a pure compassion that i've not had the opportunity to observe before. i am so blessed to have a) escaped certain tragedy in my previous marriage and b) these wonderful people, amazing souls that they each are as my family. oh and my husband. he's not too bad either. he's grown into a whole new level of man in the last 10 days; and he was awesome before. i'm so proud to know him, let alone be married to him. he is a gift.
scott's funeral was remarkable. a celebration of a life well lived. there was as much laughter as there were tears. their stake president may have called my mother-in-law "king of the crazies". from the podium. it was for sure a highlight. of my life.
i really meant to continue with the gratidude thing for the whole month, but just haven't been feeling it. not not feeling gratitude, not feeling blogging. i've been overwhelmed by gratitude, but it's more the kind that i write in my real journal, not trite little entries on a fluffy little blog. speaking of journals, i've been reading my grandma Attella's. my dad's mom. i never knew any of my grandparents, really, and it's been awesome to get a feel for the woman who raised my dad. quite a woman, that one.
i need to post about sawyer's birthday, our cali trip, thomas' mission call, thanksgiving, abes' newest accomplishments & decorating for Christmas. it might be a minute before i get around to it. or i may never. blogging isn't really high on my priority list at the moment.
time for bed.

November 9th

Today was Sawyer's 5th birthday and we were too busy partying it up and now I'm too tired to do the kind of post that my gigantic gratitude for her deserves, so I'll just leave it at that and do a bonus post tomorrow. But I think I know what my gratitude post will be about tomorrow, and it might have something to do with this:


Oh no! Now I've gone & spoiled the surprise! See ya, suckers!

- Posted from my iPhone

November 8th

tonight I'm grateful for clean sheets, freshly shaved legs & a hot bath.
oh! and bleach! I'm in love with the way my sheets smell after they've been washed with the good stuff.

November 7th

My one & only brother turned 33 (I think) today. Sometimes I think we were actually meant to be twins because I have a rather strong, sometimes irrational sibling love for him. We haven't been able to spend much time together during this particular stage in our lives, and bless our hearts, we both kinda suck at staying in touch by phone, but I hope he knows that I adore him & would do anything for him. After I got divorced I really relied on him to help me figure out what was next for me. We hung out a fair bit together at that time & I have great memories of talks we had. There was one odd birthday, I think I was 22, I had just broken up with a guy & was feeling like a loser, my awesome roommate Liz pulled a few of our friends together kinda last minute to take me out to dinner (cuz I had planned on boyfriend taking me out...) and Doug came along. So it was me, Liz, Lindy, some guy Liz was dating at the time, my old high school boyfriend whom I had recently re-friended and Doug. I remember looking around our strange little group & thinking that each of these people have come into my life for a reason ('cept maybe Liz's date, I can't even remember his name) and I'm so grateful for the role they've played. I don't really talk to any of the others anymore, but my big brother has always, and I'd venture to say, will always be there for me. He is such a great example of loyalty, patience, kindness & humility. I love love LOVE his laugh! It is seriously awesome. He is an amazing husband too. I guess that's what you get when you are raised with six sisters, each nuttier than the next, you kinda come to understand these hormonal weirdos known as women. Shannon is a lucky gal. (and he's pretty lucky to have her, too).
I love you Doug!
Happy Birthday!


- Posted from my iPhone

November 6th

Today is Abram's 1/2 birthday so I think it's fitting that he be the subject of my adoration today. Well, he's that everyday, but, you know.


We kinda had to work to get this kid here. Two miscarriages in a row along with lengthy periods of "trying" in between was not what I was expecting. The thing that sucks is that an estimated 25% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. I wish someone had told me that earlier. I could have avoided a shiload of thinking it was my fault. Anyway, he was totally worth every minute.


I firmly believe that the importance of the timing of his coming into our family is going to one day become evident & it will be awesome. He's such a strong little guy in so many ways. I'm so glad I was able to deliver him the way I did & the marvelous experience Matt & I had together.


Abram belongs with us beyond a shadow of a doubt. I love the way he is super alert & aware of everyone around him. I love how I could set a clock by his sweet little self. Right now he's up for two hours, nap for two hours, up for two hours, nap for two hours. By 8pm he's begging to be put to bed. Buddy likes his sleep. And his bath. And his sister.


Oh boy, does he like his sister. He absolutely lights up when he sees her. He turns immediately toward her voice. He giggles like a maniac at everything she does. He loves to play airplane, to suck his thumb through a sheet of my hair, his little monkey lovey and his little duplo farm.


This dude is predictable & easy to please. I lovelovelove how he goes to sleep. If I catch him at just the right time I'll lay him down, hand him his monkey & he just tucks it under his arm, rolls toward the wall & sticks his thumb in his mouth. "Peace out, Mom."


The dude is awesome. I'm super pumped to see his life unfold. I'm super grateful to be his momma.
- Posted from my iPhone

I'm thinking about doing THIS

to my hair. Gorge, right? Think I could pull it off?
I'm taking color, but obviously that style is amazing too.


- Posted from my iPhone

November 5th

whatever the generic of Wellbutrin XL is. That. I'm thankful for that. I think I used exercise as my antidepressant for a looooong time, it wasn't until after Sawyer was born & I was left with icky postpartum ickiness that I decided to supplement with a low dose of a lil somfin-somfin. Prozac worked but left me a cold-hearted, joyless, unaffectionate wench, so we messed around until we found what worked best.
This last week though, I accidentally let my prescription lapse. I just couldn't get in to pick the dang thing up, which is weird cuz I'm usually at Target at least every 36 hours, if not more frequently. At first I was thinking, "huh, maybe I can lay off the sauce, I'm doing ok". Not so much. $4 a month is totally worth it to not have self-defeating obsessive thoughts, to not want to lock my children in the bathroom, and to not randomly have fantasies of getting in a car accident and seeing my own brains splattered across the asphalt. I'd say that's the bargain of the decade, actually. One of my sisters manages great with an herbal supplement cocktail she has come up with, but for now I'm cool with, and extremely grateful for, popping a pill before bed every night.

GOOOOO SCIENCE!!! (double pump finger shake)


- Posted from my iPhone

November 4th

for fall leaves (and benedryl)

I consider myself more of a summer girl, but I cannot get over how beautiful it is around here this time of year! Today I met my sisters-in-law & Susie for lunch at a park & it was a gorgeous day. Beyond gorgeous Glorious.


Sawyer & Henry


had a lovely time piling up leaves to jump in,


making "leaf-angels",


trying to catch them as they fell,


and having icky allergic reactions to them.


And then we ditched this guy


(who is rather fond of his tractor) with his daddy while the girlies went to see So You Think You Can Dance!


Even this awkwardly smiling gal!


She loved every minute! But mental note to me: floor seats at an event like this are NOT where it's at.
Such a fun day!

- Posted from my iPhone

November 3rd

Once upon a time I (well we really) had the single greatest dog known to man. I'm still in love with her. I could be a fantastic actress because I can force a for real cry just by thinking about not having her anymore. I'm just grateful that we ever got to have her at all, but you can be sure that God & I are gonna have a sit-down about this BS known as allergies. Really? What is the point?
I think we have about six framed portraits of Charlie up on our walls thanks in part to the amazing Mrs Ashley Thalman.
We were so lucky to be the recipients of bruised shins from her freakishly muscular tail-wags; super blessed to have been able to sweep up insane amounts of hair on a daily basis. Things I once cursed I now find myself missing like mad. And I don't even want to think about Abes trying to learn to feed himself without her to clean my floors for me. (groan)
Sorry to mention her yet again, but no one reads this anyway, so so there!


- Posted from my iPhone

November 2nd

for a husband who always thinks of others first. Any others. Our family. His siblings & mom. My parents. His nieces & nephews. My siblings. Their kids. His friends & their families. People he works with. Our ward & neighborhood friends.... then maybe himself. Maybe.
Sometimes I get really mad because a lot (a LA-HA-HA-HAHOT) of the time people (myself included) don't fully appreciate and/or reciprocate. This guy would give you the shirt off his back & then carry you home.
There has never been a time that I have not been proud to be his wife, but there have been many times that I've wondered how I got so lucky or what I did to deserve him. Actually that's what I spend the better part of my day doing; wondering why he puts up with me.
Matt is also super, freakishly creative. His brother just had a baby, (well, Stacey was really the one doing the work...) and I wanted to make them some cute onesies, but couldn't think of what to make. Within ten minutes Matt had about six designs, this'n is my favorite.


And here is Mr. Sullivan Monroe Davis modeling the rocketship.


He also got a guitar


& an "I heart bluegrass" shirt.


So, do you see what I mean about the creativity? It's crazy. He's so much fun to be married to. Just for the FHEs alone...
Also he's hot.
I am a lucky gal indeed.


But about those onesies....you think anyone'd buy them if I set up an etsy shop or got them in some boutiques? What pricepoint would be good? What designs would you like fer yer kiddos?

- Posted from my iPhone

November gratitude

November 1st

That I don't have to wash my laundry by hand.

("plunge and scrub. Plunge and scrub." Name the movie.)


- Posted from my iPhone

i'm sorry, but, really?

How is it possible that Abram is this fetching cute?



Seriously?



He is entirely too edible.

I've got to do a proper Halloween post, but I cannot stop looking at his gorgeous face.
It's normal to want to swallow your children whole, right?

- Posted from my iPhone