I'm taggin myself, dangit!

This tag was on my sister-in-laws blog & I liked it, so even though she didn't tag me, (thanks for thinking of me, Schmath) I'm doing it. If that is some sort of blogging faux-pas, I apologize. And again, it's a long post. Sorry.

46 Different Questions Answered
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
My middle name is my pseudo-aunt's, which I really like, because she is great. The first name refers to the celestial nature of my celestial nature.
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Um.... the last few weeks have been kind of a hormonal deluge, but it has been a good week & a half, so I'm doing pretty good.
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
When I focus on it, its pretty darn cool, but other than that it's a mess. It's my signature that I find most disturbing, actually.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Jenni-O Brown Sugar Turkey Breast that Albertson's has stopped carrying for some reason. booooo.
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Yes, Charlie, our first-born is a gorgeous Great Dane Springer Spaniel mix and Sawyer, the heir to the throne is a sassy Amazonian 2 and a half year old princess.
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Yeah, but I'd probably think I was stuck up at first, because I struggle being friendly right off the bat.
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
Only when fighting with my husband and I know I'm wrong, but I just have to dig in and stick with it. Which is so super stupid it's not even funny.
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
No sirree bob.
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Maybe on vacation. Don't ask me why that makes any difference.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Kashi or Honey Bunches of Oats. Or Reese's Puffs, but then the roof of my mouth hurts for like five days.
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Yes.
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Yes, just ask my trainer. I kick butt.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
pretty much anything, but homemade usually is best, especially cinnamon blackberry.
14. WHAT DO YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
whether they look like nice people or not.
15. RED OR PINK?
Blue?
16.WHAT DON'T YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF?
I need to stop making snap judgements about people based on dumb stuff. And being ornery to Matt & just expecting him to pick up the slack.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
The Gilmore Girls. Seriously.
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?
Sure, if you mean to post their own on their blog, yes, I think it's fun to read.
19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Black pants and grey & fuchsia shoes (workout gear)
20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
a very delicious peach.
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
My bathwater running.
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
If you were a dumb question that says absolutely nothing about your personality, what question would you be? Oh, that's right, this one.
23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Matt's lingering cologne in the morning after he goes to work, cilantro, pink baby lotion, lilacs and stargazer lilies.
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Lindsay Wilding, about young women's tonight.
25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
Yes, but she didn't technically send it to me, I stole it. I do wish I knew her better though.
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Golf is the least intrusive & most peaceful. Plus I dig David Ferhty's accent.
27. HAIR COLOR?
Naturally, brown, but I strive for a shiny Charlie-esq black.
28. EYE COLOR?
Brown
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
No
30. FAVORITE FOOD?
crab or good ice cream or nutella & strawberry crepes.
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Happy endings. I can't even watch a trailer for a scary movie.
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Bits of Die Hard alternated with Seven Brides for Seven Brothers during commercials on TV in our hotel in SF, a surprising, yet satisfying mix.
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Light blue.
34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Summer
35. HUGS OR KISSES?
good kisses
36. FAVORITE DESSERT?
ice cream or pie, or even better, both.
37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
I dunno, whoever wants to.
38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
This one I do know. Whoever DOESN'T want to.
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Trying to finish Atonement, but I'm halfway through & still not into it at all.... should I give it up or finish it for the sake of finishing it? Also reading The Peacegiver, I have to only read a chapter at a time and then think about it for like a week, there's just so much there.
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
Red.
41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT?
Last Wednesday's So You Think You Can Dance.
42. FAVORITE SOUND?
Live music, John Mayer was lovely. Sawyer's giggles are also up there.
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Stones.
44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
France.
45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
I make a mean wedding cake.
46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Bountiful.

You know the drill. Take it & run with it if you're so inclined, because no amount of tagging will make you if you aren't.

the San Francisco Treat!

(fyi- this is a long and annoying post. the pictures are cute, but don't feel bad if you don't make it to the end. I wish I knew how to summarize a little better tonight)

Last Wednesday was a little bit crazy. I had 300 cupcakes that needed to be decorated and delivered to Lehi. I had to pack all of our stuff for our trip. I had to make a pineapple upside down cake for the Young Women's activity that night & take it to Jenni's. I had to work out because I think it's pathetic that I gained 10 pounds with a pregnancy that didn't even yield a heartbeat. I had to meet Matt after I delivered the cake & bust hump to the airport so that we didn't miss our flight. So of course I slept poorly on Tuesday night worrying about how on earth I was going to get all that done, and woke up at 6 am which was fine, I could go work out and at least get that done. Check. Then, as soon as I got started on frosting the cupcakes, our air conditioner went kaput. So I moved everything to the much cooler basement & carried on, only the precious little violas that were going on the top of each cupcake, they really liked the refrigerator better, and let me know by curling their edges up.... lovely. I turned my car on while I finished the frosting & let it get to be like 60 degrees in there. (I love my car). And that is how we drove to Lehi; I place that I have vowed to never return to. I got so stinking lost. Who just takes a street sign down? It was a complete joke. Oh, wait, no, that's wrong. Delta airlines is a complete joke. On the way down to Lehi, I got a lovely little call saying that our 7:30 flight would now be an 11:30 flight. That would have been great if I hadn't already worked my a#$ off trying to get everything together!!!!! grrrrrrrr. So after delivering the lovely cuppies, Sawyer & I just went back to Susie's and napped until it was time to go. On the way to the airport, I called to check & make sure I had the right time for our flight, and they hadn't updated the system yet and told me that my flight left at 7:30. Okay, people, my husband has anxiety, and apparently it's contagious, because I just about had a panic attack myself. It was no bueno. But all was well. We made the flight and actually got bumped to first class which was a dream. Matt officially mandated that all flights over 2 hours will now be in first class. Okay with me.

Anyway, our trip was a blast. Just what we needed. Wednesday night, in our sleep deprived state, we picked up an identical suitcase from baggage claim that was definatley not ours. We didn't discover this until we tried to get Sawyer ready for bed, and saw that we had no pullups, pajamas or toothbrushes for her. So we called the number on the bag, woke a bunch of people up and had to arrange to get this poor girl her suitcase, while trying to locate ours at the airport. again, grrrrrr.

On Thursday we just went down to Fisherman's wharf & toured the Boudin Bakery, which was awesome, then we went back to the hotel & all had lovely long naps. We woke up & walked to Union Square and shopped a bit & had dinner at the Cheesecake Factory on the roof of Macy's overlooking the whole square. Sawyer has no fear of heights and wanted to look out over the edge the entire time & play I Spy while Daddy had to go inside & try not to puke. Dinner was awesome, and then we took the cable cars back to the hotel & crashed. I think my favorite part of the whole trip (and this is patheic & will surely reveal how deeply my superficiality goes) was the freaking adorable designer looking jeans we got Sawyer at H&M (my new favorite place on the planet) for $12.90!!!! I just have to laugh everytime I see her in them because they are JUST THAT CUTE!!!! Also, there is an place called the Chocolate Store on the Embarcadero that has the very best ice cream I have ever, EVER had. Ever. And this awesome painting that I tried to buy. I will paint it myself then dang it. It is perfect for me because I have always had this sinking feeling that I am faking my whole life & one day someone will realize it & take it away from me. (don't laugh, it's a real thing, it's called "imposter syndrome" and I have it.) Anyway, I thought that this painting was perfect for me, especially with the cake, just one more area that I feel like I'm faking.

On Friday we took a little bus tour out over the Golden Gate Bridge to Muir Woods and Sausalito. It was very fun, nice to get out and we especally loved the walking & talking we did through the giant redwoods in Muir Woods. Then after another great nap, we took Sawyer to the Aquarium of the Bay and she loved it. Then, let's see, I think we went back to Union Square & ate somewhere.... oh, yeah, this cool little Mexican place....oh, that was yummy. Then for dessert we had gelato & crepes in the food court. Divine. They don't seem to have very many franchise places there. Even in the food court, it was all very yummy, well made food, not fast food crap. Loved that about it. When we tried to take the trolley back home, it was a bit too busy for us, so we just started walking & walked all the way home. Sawyer fell asleep & it was a nice night & we had good talks and loved every minute of it.

Saturday morning we took a little cruise around the bay, it was really well done and we went under the Golden Gate Bridge & learned a lot about how they built it & the history of the bay & Alkatraz & stuff. Pretty interesting. Sawyer loved riding the bus & subway & cable cars. We took the bus to Golden Gate park & stopped off in Haight & Ashbury on the way. Yeah, pretty much hated that part. It's not as cool when you have a toddler with you & you see people shooting heroin on the sidewalk. Awesome. Once we got to the park it was nice though, the Conservatory of Flowers there had a butterfly exhibit that was pretty great & Sawyer loved that. We went straight to the Giant's game after that. We only stayed for an hour or so, Sawyer had kinda had it with that day, and we needed to get packed up anyway. So we booked it home and put the girl to bed.

On Sunday we packed, walked up to Ghiardelli Square & had breakfast & then went to church. As soon as we left though, I broke my shoe and walked the entire way back with no shoes on. We swung by Lombard Street though and that was pretty fun. And then we came home. It is good to be home. I am excited to get back to normal & have a nice break from cakes for August. I just have to do one for a lady in my ward on Wednesday & then I will be free & clear for a month. I am planning on getting lots and lots of stuff done around the house, so we'll see how that goes. Oh, and we're going on an Alaskan Cruise. And having a family reunion. And going to Raspberry Days. And losing ten. So.... we'll see how much house crap I actually get done.

what do you think?

okay so matt is just catching up on his golf watching, I'm cleaning off the camera after a long weekend in San Francisco, when we see a commerical that sparked an interesting conversation. It shows the fountain of youth & had all these old people walking into it & coming out young children. Matt thought that it would be so great to be really young & have all the knowledge that you have now. I completely disagree. That would take all the fun out of being young. All the mistakes I made, I would have been too afraid to make them now, and would have missed out on some really fun things and some very valuable learning experiences. Obviously I wish I hadn't have married Jared, but I have a sneaking suspicion that going through that kind of prepared me for Matt & made me able to really appreciate what a wonderful man he is. Anyway, it's interesting to think about. So, what do you think? If you knew then what you know now, how would things be different? Would all the fun be gone? Do you have things that you regret that much? Things you regret NOT doing? It's hard to say.

Pictures by Sawyer

As I was cleaning our camera off today I noticed that like 90% of the pictures were taken by our budding photographer. I let her play with the camera occasionally, but I guess I didn't realize how much she loves it! She takes pictures of every one of her toys and everything that she does. Granted, only about 40% of them are in focus, but some of them are actually kinda nice. I especially love the ones of Matt & I. I hope that's how she sees us, smiley & nice, not impatient & mean.

this too shall pass. (just wish I could fast forward)

How can I miss someone so bad that I never got a chance to meet? How could so much anticipation and love have been all tied up in something the size of a raspberry? Today was one of the most disappointing days of my life, and I never want to go through this again. I am so grateful to my dear, sweet mother-in-law, who was completely there for me. An unlikely source for just exactly the "girl" I needed. Sometimes you just need a girl, you know? And she is my girl. Sawyer is also my girl and her presence today was literally a God-send. Caring for her not only takes my mind of my big empty cave of a uterus, but also makes me realize that yes, this pain is worth it. Today she summed it all up when I told her that the baby in momma's tummy wasn't there anymore. She was a bit sad for a minute & kinda hung her head until a big smile came across her face & she said brightly "get another one!" Okay girl, we will, but give me a minute.
Melissa's comment reminded me that I never got to post any of the miriad of these pictures I took the day we found out. I tried to keep this on the DL for a while. We bought the David Bowie shirt in Seattle for the kid when it was just a hope that I might be pregnant. One day David will have a little body to be worn by. One day.

weirdo-beardo-banana-fanna-fierdo

I'm sick of looking at my garden here at the top of my blog. So I will make a new post that is less depressing. This weekend has been really fun, but I haven't really gotten anything done that I meant to. Because, for real, my house needs some love, my yard needs some love, my dog needs some love and I think that probably my husband needs some love. Friday night was my 10 year high school reunion, which I probably wouldn't have gone to if Kirsten hadn't been in charge of it and adamantly insisted that I go. But I am so glad I did, it was a blast & really great to see the great people that I went to school with. Kinda surreal though. I swear I'm not that old. Most people were pretty much the same, but with less of that insecure high school kattiness. I wish I hadn't have had a boyfriend all through high school, I think I missed out on some great friendships with my guy friends because I was so wrapped up in Jared. Pretty silly. The only person I really wished had been there that wasn't was Paul Lawrence. I've known him since 3rd grade, and we were on and off best-ish friends, and then after my divorce, we kissed and then it got weird. (p.s. we kissed way, way after my divorce was finalized, contrary to anything you'll hear from my ex-husband.) Anyway, the last thing I heard from him was that he was going to marry some Tahitian chic that he knew from his mission, and then we kinda dropped out of each other's lives. Well, turns out that the gorgeous girl I sat next to at dinner actually is the one who married him! She moved to Viewmont in our Junior year and I didn't know her very well at all, but as we talked, she kept referring to her husband Paul & it finally clicked, so that was really, really weird. I hope that she wasn't annoyed by my asking about him, I really do have such a soft spot in my heart for him. I guess I would be a bit suspicious of a girl Matt had made out with if she started asking about him a lot. Anyway, she was very nice and it was awesome to see pictures of his adorable little boy and know that they are doing well. Time flies. Actually the one who freaked me out the most was Mike Steed. I just wanted to say "Mike Steed's gots kids?" like from Hook; "Peter Pan's gots kids?" After the reunion, Rossi & I went to see Iron Man which was awesome, I loved it and was sad that Matt wasn't there. But I am exhausted now and I cannot believe I am still online. DUMB. g'night.

My Pathetic Garden

When we built this house I had big plans for the yard. They included a big beautiful wild rose garden on the south side, lots of room to play, and of course, a fruitful garden. I have never done much gardening, and I had no idea how to go about doing it. I still don't. This spring I planted a ton of seeds to start indoors, and the spring was so weird & long, with snow in April, that I completely killed off an entire batch of seedlings just by leaving them inside for too long. Anyway, once I did get some seedlings to stick around, and transplanted them to the great outdoors, I think I forgot to turn on the garden part of our sprinkling system, and killed them off again. Our water turns on at like 2 in the morning so it was easy to forget about. Well, I am happy to say that the watermelon and one single corn stalk are still going strong. And my Costco tomato plants are freaking rockstars. Look how huge they are! And yesterday I picked my very first ever homegrown tomato! How cute is that? Too cute to eat, I'll tell you that much.

I've been tagged!

This tag is particularly annoying because of two reasons: 1)I am extremely NOT motivated to do any sort of housework today. Actually it's been a few days. My house is in a pathetic state. 2)when I'm not wanting to do what I should be doing, I blog. So combine those two with a tag that involves pictures of my house and you got a lovely, not always true picture of my house. Crap. Don't judge me okay? Jesus doesn't want you to. He loves me. Anyway, here goes, I hate you Laura. :)

My Kitchen Sink

grrr, I've been meaning to go at this with Ajax for like a week. Sick, huh?

My Favorite Room in the House

really the only place we ever hang out because it's front room, dining room, living room & kitchen all in one. A crappy arrangement if you aren't Kierstin Spjut & a clean freak 24/7. (do people even say that anymore? i just felt like a total nerd.)

My Fridge

I do love this fridge, but I'm in the middle of cupcake season, so it's mostly full of frostings & fillings right now.

My Laundry Pile

The one thing I'm going to accomplish today.

My Favorite Shoes

yeah, finally something fun! These floral ones were my Easter shoes, refer to that post to fully understand my love for them

These purple ones are much radder in real life.The lingerie-lookin' ones are just as sexy as a shoe can get. They were destiny, BCBG semi-annual sale, only one size left, MINE & they were what? Oh, yeah, $19!

My closet

booo

What my Kid is Doing Right Now

There's no way I'm going in there, she was a demon to put to bed tonight.

My Most Recent Purchase

Cute little dishtowels from Michael's, hoping to inspire myself to clean my kitchen.

Self Portrait

this is my version of one of those skanky chics on myspace minus the cleavage.

Now I tag whoever wants to bust out their camera & go for it!

Update on the Funnest Trip Ever!

This is really just to make everyone jealous that opted NOT to take me up on the girls trip offer.  What is with you people and procreating?  Either everyone is too poor or too pregnant.  Well, whatever, it's gonna be a blast.  Rossi & I all by ourselves.  I'm so freaking excited.  We fly into Long Beach on Friday afternoon (Sept 12th) and then dink around until the Maroon 5 show at 7 that night.  Now here is the problem.  Our sweet hotel is in Manhattan Beach, kinda up by LAX, and the show is in Irvine, clear down yonder.  And today I bought tickets to see Wicked!!!! Which is clear up in Hollywood on Saturday night!  So yeah, let's just hope I don't accidentally end up in Compton or something.  Kinda scared about driving in LA. Hopefully I'll be able to get a GPS with our rental car.

Little Golden Book Tresury

Somehow I came to have in my possession 2 of my very, very favorite books from growing up. It, of course, has nothing to do with Matt & I living at my parents house while they were on their first mission, and they didn't accidentally end up in our boxes; I don't know what happened. I think that these books just like me better than my other siblings and hitch-hiked home with us one day. Originally they were a set of four big beautiful books, originally being clear back in 1968, so in the 12 years that transpired before I was even born, a lot of carnage had beset these poor little guys. But Sawyer has completely fallen in love with their beautiful illustrations and stories, just like I did. So when we took them to Seattle last month, I was nearly in tears when I realized that I left one of them on the plane on the way home. It was awful. Because that was my very favorite one, the one with the most gorgeous version of the Twelve Dancing Princesses, my favorite fairy tale. Anyway, because their covers had been ripped off sometime in their 40 years, it was nearly impossible for me to figure out what they were called, let alone find them, but after some serious ebaying & amazoning, here they are, in my mailbox! I cannot tell you how many memories these hold for me. These new ones are in great shape, the only marking on them is a sweet inscription, and I feel back for Scot who clearly didn't appreciate them like I did. I'd rather the markings were made by my siblings, who frankly, were very well versed in the art of marking up books, but they will do. Maybe Sawyer & her siblings can mark these up, and have them for another 40 years! I love how small the world has become through the internet, it's really amazing. I'm so excited for Sawyer to wake up so I can show these to her! It's gonna be awesome!

PB&J Cupcakes (you can thank me later)

I am about to do something that I have never done before and probably never will do again. Give out a recipe. I spend a lot of time & money finding amazing recipes for my cakes and it's kinda my thing. I want to look like the amazing baker, not you. Total vanity & selfishness, but I'm okay with it. These, however are too good to keep to myself. Now keep in mind that if one day I gather up enough guts to open my own bakery and become world famous for my PB&J cupcakes, you are NOT allowed to sell this recipe or undercut me in any way, shape or form. Actually, it's not like I made them up myself, it's a compilation of recipes stolen from poor suckas who were generous enough to post their recipes online, so it only seems right to return the goodness to from whence it came: back to the Internet.

(not even kidding, they really are) Perfect Vanilla Cupcakes (from genius blogger/chef RaspberryEggplant)
3/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons all purpose flour
1 tsp. baking powder
pinch o'salt
4 tablespoons unsalted butter, at room temp.
1/4 c. regular sugar
1/4 c. turbinado sugar (don't be annoyed by the specialty sugar. Just get your lazy butt to Target & buy it. The rest of the recipe is so stinkin' simple. Quit complaining, it really does make a difference.)
1 egg, room temp.
1/2 c. milk, room temp.
1 tsp. vanilla

Sift the flour, baking powder & salt; set aside.
Cream the butter & sugars till light & fluffy, add egg & vanilla, mix. Alternately with the milk, add the sifted ingredients, scraping the bowl down after each addition. Bake in lined & sprayed baking cups at 350 for 17 minutes. Yield 9 regular sized cupcakes.

Fluffy Peanut Butter Frosting
1 stick butter, room temp
1 cup creamy peanut butter
2 cups powdered sugar
2-3 tablespoons milk

Cream butters, add sugar, add milk till it reaches good piping or spreading consistency.

K, now, you take your cooled cupcakes, cut a cone out of the top of them, cut the pointy end off the cone, and fill that space with freezer jam. If you don't have freezer jam, I'm sorry. It won't work with regular jam. Go make some. (actually that just might be my personal bias. Freezer jam is in-freaking-credible. Feel free to use whatever jam floats your boat. I think I might try some with lemon curd one day just because my husband is a total nut-job & likes lemon & peanut butter together) Moving on. Now replace the left over top of your cupcake, and swirl on some of that good ol' peanut butter frosting. Add a little dab of jam on top and wha-la! How much do you love me?You will probably have a bit of left over peanut butter frosting. Poor you. Now you have to make brownies to use it up.