Sunday, April 5, 2009

the second time around is actually worse....

...who'd have thought that was possible? For the like six people on the planet who I haven't told yet, I was pregnant recently. Friday was our first pre-natal appointment. Heartbeat & all was groovy. Joy! My adorable sister-in-law Jennifer is also pregnant & we were so excited to have babies close in age again. Whatever. This sucks. I'm really pissed off this time around. Is that okay? Is that normal? I'm just mad as hell. At what, you might ask. Name it. My girly parts. Myself. My husband. My daughter. My doctor. God. Not very humble of me, huh? I know these types of experiences are a chance for me to grow closer to my Heavenly Father & Savior if I just turn to them in faith. I'm supposed to learn something with each earthly experience, right? Or else what is the point of all this suckiness? I know this, yet I'm not ready to "make nice" just yet. Thanks to the Dixie Chics for a song that will hopefully get me through this part. Hopefully this part is short & in a few days I can remember that "all things will work together for your good." Actually even as I say that I know that in the past, in my life, when things just seem so not fair & I can't understand why I'm going through something, when I look back at those times years later, I see that the plan of the Father is always greater and more beautiful than anything I could have ever dreamed up on my own. It's gonna be fine.
um... p.s. sorry, if I didn't make it clear, Melissa, I had a f-ing miscarriage again.

13 comments:

Melissa said...

Ahhhhhhhh HELLO.................I'm one of the six!!!
I only know about your life through the blogging world Celeste.
So 'you no bloggie, me no knowie!!'
Congrats.
Why are you upset?
Cause you're sick?
Timing?
What's going on?

Lisa said...

Celeste, sweetie, I'm so sorry. You have every right to feel mad at the world right now. Let me know if you need ice cream or something, okay?

James and Jenni McBride said...

I am sorry this had to happen again Celeste and no one ever said you had to be alright with your trials as soon as they happen to you!!! Take some time and know that you are surrounded by people who love you.

Melissa said...

Ooooooooooooo ok.
Oh man, sorry Celeste.
I wonder why this is happening. Not more than you though, right?
Hmmmm
Yep, yep, be pissed, I would be.
This is so odd, you're young and healthy.
Ok I'll stop.
Sorry Celeste.

Chris & Missy said...

I am so sorry that this happened to you again. Just know that I am here for you if you ever need anything. I have watched my sweet sister go through 3 mis-carraiges and it just breaks my heart. I love you!

AndersonFamily said...

Celeste!!! i am so so sorry!! if there is anything you need or if you just need to talk give me a call! but you will have to call me on jason's cause mine is out of commission right now :) also i am leaving on sunday for nashville so mares will be in touch about the bridal shower! i love love love you and know you can do this!

Zach and Erika said...

I'm so sorry!

Ashley Thalman said...

You sweetheart. I am so sorry. I understand the horrible wrestling between wanting to be mad but knowing peace will eventually find you. I'll be thinking of you.

Kierstin said...

I love you. Always know that and that I am always here. xo

Brittany said...

I am so sorry Celesete. Jessica called and told me the other day. But can I tell you how EXCITED I am that you guys are coming to visit me. See you soon!


Please dont bust my bubble I really like to think you both are coming all this way to see me. HAHA

~Debby~ said...

(((HUGS)))
I am so sorry.
If you need to have Sawyer out of the house call me, she can come over here and play with Kaitlynn!! ;)
God does work Mysterious in ways just keep up hope!

Parry Particulars said...

This is the first I've heard of this. Sorry I didn't know before. Also, sorry for your pain.

the Lola Letters said...

Note to self: Don't get distracted participating in fundamentally worthless activites to the extent where you become so busy that you cannot keep up with your favorite friends' blogs and therefore have no idea that gorgeous, amazing Celeste has had a miscarriage.

I feel like a schmuck.
I'm sure that(a whole bloody month later) you're feeling better than you were feeling when you wrote this, but I'm sorry all the same.

We need cheesecake.
or ice cream.
or both.

and a big pasta dinner.

Soon.

Love you!