Monday, April 13, 2009

a lengthy post about a lot of different things

There are things I've been experiencing that cannot be attributed to anything other than a tender mercy from my loving Heavenly Father, or at least that's how I'm choosing to look at it, (had to (lovingly) throw that last part in for my brother Doug).
People are so kind. I'm learning this. We all have so much to give each other. So many ways to lift one another up. That is why one of Satan's best tricks is to get us to make snap judgments about each other that separate us and cause competitive thoughts or jealousy. At least it's one of the traps I'm best at stepping in.
There is an adorable girl at my gym. I see her nearly everyday. She is everything I'm not; petite, blond, slightly tattooed, yet somehow still classy and sweet and just really tight & toned. I always notice her but haven't really had a chance to talk to her much until recently. She's friends with one of my gym-friends, and now I know her name & enough to say hi. She heard I was expecting & asked about how I was feeling last Friday. Of course I told her that I was feeling quite fine as my uterus had returned to it's uninhabited state. My words seem trite as I try to describe the sisterhood I felt with her as we talked for the next half hour about the pain of our experiences and how we don't understand why these things happen; how we just kind of hold on to the hope that "it'll happen when it's supposed to" is true. Who made that phrase up anyway? I have kept people at a distance so often because of judgments I've passed on them based on their appearances or something I've heard. I have missed out on enumerable friendships and joys because of that. It makes me sick to think about. Also makes me want to knock it the hell off. There are people who stand up in fast & testimony meeting and tell the whole congregation that they love them. There are people who think that those people are on Ecstasy or something. But I know one thing, when gym friend & I had that talk, and she said "I love you", & I said & meant it back, it felt like that was a much more natural state than my normal place of judgment. That felt true. As Billy Corgan says, "there's a love that God puts in your heart." And yes, I did just bust out Smashing Pumpkins lyrics in this sappy post.
I love that my daughter always just shimmies up to her teachers and holds their hands & loves them. Primary teachers, ballet teachers, swimming teachers, gym day-care teachers. Everyone. She is a little lover.
You think I can cook? I make wedding cakes, I'd better be able to handle myself in the kitchen somewhat, right? Most of the time, I'm okay. But damn that Adam Lambert. Last week my DVR quit recording right before his performance, and so the next day, as I was making a batch of buttercream I thought I ought to google it and watch it because, although he isn't my pick to win American Idol, he's always worth watching. 20 minutes later I hear my fire alarm going off upstairs. The entire kitchen/front room/entry/dining room is flooded with smoke. Stop, drop & roll variety smoke. I had 2 1/4 cups sugar and 1/2 cup water on the stove that ooops I forgot about. Thank goodness Sawyer was over at a friends because I'm thinking she would have freaked out. Thank goodness it was a nice day & airing the house out was a highly pleasant experience. Thank goodness it didn't actually overflow, so clean up was as simple as throw my favorite pot in the garbage. Pretty ugly, huh?I stuck a golf club in it to make sure it was dead.
But other than that little incident, I have declared myself the Golden Goddess of Cake. Let me have just a tiny little brag shesh. This last cake I did I was kinda not excited about because it was pretty plain. Just white fondant and fresh flowers. But can I just say that this was the most perfect fondant application I have ever done? She had me do one tier of foam & that always scares me because the edges usually give it away, but not this one, no one could guess which one it was. YEAH ME!!!! Go look at my cake blog if you want to see.
My parents come home from their mission in less than 48 hours!!!!!
Easter is the best. Sawyer loves Easter. She loves bunnies, candy, making cookies, frilly new dresses, finding things & Jesus. What could be better? The Easter Bunny went a little crazy at Ross this year & got her a new swimming suit (too big) and Ariel swim fins & goggles that she wore all day Sunday. The Easter Bunny (and Sawyer) just might be a little excited for their trip to San Diego in 2 weeks. The end.


Melissa said...

Great post.
There's just one thing I don't get.
How come there's a random pic of Sawyer in her swim gears?

Ashley Thalman said...

I know that feeling. That "I love you" feeling where that charity (the pure love of Christ) comes alive.
Lucky you. You needed her.