nunya

So Sawyer is 14 months old now, and people are starting to bug me about when we'll have another baby. And despite 14 months of experience, I feel like I felt before we had her: scared. And that's weird because I actually do feel pretty confident about my abilities as a mom, at least I don't feel like we've screwed her up just yet. In fact she is quite an angel so far, but whether that is a nurture or a nature thing, I don't know. But, it is still the most important and intimidating thing I'll ever do, raising another human being. I remember when I was pregnant and we got Charlie. I couldn't imagine having enough love in my heart for Matt & Charlie and the baby. I realize now how ridiculous that is. And I'm sure this feeling of not wanting to have my attention diverted from Sawyer even for another beautiful baby is going to feel pretty silly in a few years, but right now I just want to enjoy the little bit of baby time that is left in Sawyer's life. I think we are going more for the quality than the quantity. Not that quality isn't possible with a large quantity of kids, goodness knows my sisters have plenty of AMAZING kids, but I don't know if Matt & I are cut out for that. I certainly have my patience stretched every single day with just one kid. We just want to be able to give our kids so many fun experiences and lots of attention. I want them to have their time to be the only baby for a while. We talked about waiting until she was two to start trying again, but if we do that then I'll be in my 3rd trimester when the biannual (every other year, is that what biannual means?) Davis family vacation comes along, so I think we'll actually put it off a few months after that. Sounds silly to plan a kids birth around our vacation schedule, but it makes the most sense to me, so whatever. It's really no one's business anyway. (so why don't I go post this on a public blog? ironic much?)