the out of control stampeeding project

Last night Matt had the thought that I should speak to Spencer Reynolds, an old family friend, about his leadership training project possibly being my platform for the pageant. So I called him to get more information on what he was doing, and 45 minutes later, I'm hooked. He has been doing some workshops/presentations in high schools about leadership skills and financial literacy. He is working on getting a nonprofit organization set up pro bono by an attorney so that he can really make this a huge deal. He has an amazing vision for what he wants to do, and would need non-profit status so that people would be willing to contribute. I told him I would love to be involved and bring attention to his idea through my platform statement as well as an ad in the program book at the pageant. I really didn't have any interest in winning the pageant up until now because it would mean I would have to devote a lot of time and energy to my platform and being Mrs. Utah over the next year, but now, I REALLY want to win BECAUSE I want to work on this with the added outreach that the title of Mrs. Utah will bring. I am afraid Spencer will think I'm hi-jacking his program, but I really would love to especially work with these high school girls in encouraging them to not be afraid to be real leaders and acheive everything they are capable of; to become educated, not just go to college to meet a husband. I really think that girls in this community need that message. I love being a stay at home mom, but I will be forever grateful that I had the opportunity to graduate from college. And I actually am using my degree everyday as Sawyer's mom. But it's really hard to stay motiviated with doing something so big outside of my "easy" life as a homemaker/wedding cake designer. It's intimidating. Like I said yesterday, I've had a lot of feelings like I don't have anything to contribute to the world at large, and today I was really struggling with that, and deciding whether I want to become involved in this because it will take a lot of my time and will be extremely challenging. Anyway, I was having a little prayer about it this morning, and the hymm "Because I have been given much" came into my head. I really feel like I have an obligation to serve because I have been so blessed. I think about how amazingly supportive and awesome Susie has been to me particularly getting me through college, and I would be so ungrateful if I didn't at least try to have the same effect on others. Then I read my patriarchial blessing, and oh boy, am I in for a life changing commitment. It said: "There will be many opportunities which will come to you to bless the lives of others. Through your talents, your intellect and your abilities, you will be an important guide and help to many. You will bless the lives of the young ones and the youth." Okay, well, I feel totally unprepared, but whatever. I know Heavenly Father will bless me with strength to do whatever it is that I am supposed to do. So, I am trying to get motivated not only to get sponsors and do pageant stuff, but now I have this whole beast of getting involved in Spencer's "Start Leadership" program. Geez Louise.