Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn't know.
Geez Louise! This one is lame. I'm not doing it. It's my blog, durnit!
But I do need to write. I don't know any other way to say it, and I'm sure it's just because Matt AND Cydney were out of town this weekend, and my kiddos are sick, and therefore I haven't been able to go work out and now I have cabin fever, but I sure feel super crappy lately. Unmotivated & lonely mostly. I had that one really, really good day this week, but other than that its kinda been an emotional suck-fest on my part. bluh.
How do you stay in touch with friends when your lives are so dominated by the needs of small people? And you know what? Sometimes (this just happened to me on Friday) even when the stars all align & I'm able to spend time with friends, I feel weirdly isolated even while I'm with them. Like I'm not all the way there. I hate it. It just makes me want to go back to bed & wake up in a different stage of my life.
Sheesh, Miller, might need to up the dosage!
I've been feeling like this around my in-laws too. Bad. They all live like 2 miles from each other. Actually, it's probably less than that, I'm not even kidding. I just feel really out of it, like living "clear" out here in Layton, I miss out on stuff or something. I say "I" because Matt works in Bountiful & so he can make it to a lot more stuff, people just swing by his office all the time. But it's a really close family & I feel like I'm the obnoxious kid sister trying to jump into conversations & stuff. It's not their fault, they are awesome, every single one, it's just a mix of the distance & the stages my kids are at. Probably exasperated by the fact that Matt rarely remembers to tell me stuff that's going on. It's like he's my lifeline to the outside world & sometimes we are so busy that that lifeline is just not sufficient.
I'm probably dropping the ball on my end and stupidly wondering why I'm out of the loop. Anyway it's been a drag & I just needed to vent. Things will get better.
Stupid fricken January.