welcome

So I feel like a total Kirsten Wright wanna be, (lifeatthewrighthouse.blogspot.com) but she is pretty cool and I have really enjoyed reading her blog. This blog title sounds like it’ll be all about Sawyer, but I have a feeling this will be a great forum for me to keep a journal and vent for my own sanity. She is my life though, so I am sure there will be plenty about my little sweetie. Last Sunday we called Susie to invite her over for Sunday dinner and somehow it turned into Sawyer, Susie & I all going down to St. George for the week. It has been so much fun. I feel so incredibly lucky to have a mother in law that bears no resemblance at all to the typical horror stories you hear about mothers in law. She just radiates fun! I think that’s where Sawyer gets her joyful soul. Anyway Susie has been finishing up her many quilting projects and Sawyer & I have been just chillin’. I was planning to do so much digital scrap booking, but that has been replaced by this project. I was also able to spend some time with my brother & sister & her kids and that was way, way overdue. Matt flew in to Las Vegas last night and I went down to pick him up. His plane was 2 hours late, so I got a pedicure and read for a while. I was so excited to see him! We went to dinner at the Wynn and it was awesome; holy freaking desserts. Anyway, we’ve been having a lot of fun. I am so blessed to be where I am right now. I don’t mean in St. George. I mean married to the best guy, raising the coolest kid, living in such a nice house in such a awesome part of the world. I just wish I could shake the feeling that I don’t really deserve this, that I’m faking it and one day the rug is going to be ripped out from under me. I guess that just kinda goes with the territory, given the crap I put up with in my first marriage. Blah, blah, blah. I don’t want to think about that anymore. I don’t want it to affect any part of me ever again. It’s been six years and I still feel kinda “handicapped” in a way from it. I am sure some forgiveness on my part would help with that, at least that’s what I hear, but I just don’t feel like I have the ability to go there right now. Just being in Cedar City on Wednesday I felt really uncomfortable the whole time knowing that he lives there now. Icky, icky, icky. Moving on. I’m so incredibly happy right now. I have the best friends & family. So those of you who read this please know that I love you and am forever grateful for your support and examples and love for me. Pathetic as it sounds, it’s time for bed, so I’ll talk to you later.